Balancing Act #194: October 2015

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BALANCING ACT: BLENDING LIFE, WORK, AND RELATIONSHIPS®

A free monthly newsletter about balancing life, work, and relationships based on the books and popular workshops conducted by Alan Weiss, Ph.D. Past copies are archived on our web site: http://www.summitconsulting.com.

Copyright 2015 Alan Weiss. All rights reserved.

ISSN 1934-3116

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Balancing act is in four sections this month:

  1. Techniques for balance
  2. Musings
  3. The human condition: Argumentatiousnessity
  4. ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department

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  1. Techniques for balance
  1. Musings

         I've become quite fascinated by what I refer to as "mindsets." I believe that people are successful or not based upon what they tell themselves and what they believe as soon as they get out of bed.

         There are people I've coached who tell me they love what they do but are "dreading" a required phone call, or meeting, or presentation. Many people don't engage in conversations so much as proceed through "checklists" to achieve the quantity of responses they need, though not nearly the quality.

         Still others are deathly afraid to challenge a client (or friend, or family member, or prospect, or social acquaintance) because they are petrified of not being "liked." (It's no psychological accident that social media sites enable "likes" for postings.) I've heard people leave an Uber vehicle and say "five for five," meaning that they will give the driver a five-star rating on the survey if the driver gives them one—despite what the service level was.

         One of my favorite Wall Street Journal cartoons was of a man getting out of bed with red-rimmed eyes, beard stubble, and clear pain. His wife, standing nearby, said, "Just imagine—in two hours you'll be giving a motivation speech to help cheer people up!"

         We can begin our day as an opportunity to vastly learn and grow or we can begin a long, slow crawl through enemy territory.

         I suggest you begin the day with a routine that will guarantee the former if you're not regularly capable of automatically attaining it. You might take two minutes to: be thankful for your life; review what you've done well the day prior; listen to some music you like; listen to a tape of positive messages; say a prayer; meditate. It's vital to begin the day positively, because it sets the course for the remainder.

         I don't normally observe people who get better as the day goes on. I often observe people whose energy and zest seem to flag. If you start the day in the dumps, you're going to end it underground.

         Keep yourself on the surface or, better yet, soaring above it.

  1. The human condition: Argumentatiousnessity

         Have you met people who seem to want to argue with every statement they hear? They seek to find exceptions to everything, the typo-finders of oral communication.

         I mentioned on Twitter that consultants shouldn't expect to grow rich from their book sales, but rather from the business the books generate in leads and clients. Some guy wrote back that book sales certainly didn't hurt James Patterson or Danielle Steele. Say, what?   

         There are people so utterly punctilious that they will find some minor figure or event in the 16th Century to try to disprove your assertion that water flows downhill or cows can't fly. These are the people who memorize the Scrabble dictionary to use words like muzjiks and za. Sort of defeats the purpose of a game testing your language skills, right?

         If I use Marie Curé as an example of a famed female scientist, do I really care about the person who has to stop me to point out that she wasn't really French or bred greyhounds? What's the point? Is the person going for a PhD in non-sequiturs?

         Don't argue with the waiter over the pronunciation of cordon blue or gnocchi. Stop pointing out exceptions to pragmatic advice. ("You may think that the left lane is the fastest moving, but in traffic congestion of less than 35 miles per hour, you're better off alternating between center and right.")

          I find these people pugnacious and punctilious. They are always looking for a fight. I think it's because they think so little of themselves that they overcompensate by trying to undermine everyone else's credibility. The didn't think of an idea first or succeed fastest, so they will try to take the wind out of everyone else's sails. They are, therefore, also highly sarcastic: "You're using a pen and paper to take notes instead of a tablet? Do you also wear pocket protectors?" No, but would you like to see my obnoxious person protector?

         I do become giddy imagining these people trying to make a decision they're uncertain about, arguing with themselves. They probably get nothing done while frothing at the mouth and incapacitating themselves. Should be quite a sight. I have no argument with that.

DEVELOPMENT OPPORTUNITIES

THOUGHT LEADERSHIP 2016

Palm Beach, FL, Four Seasons

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ROLE PLAY WORKSHOP

A huge hit in Washington, DC earlier this year, I'm reprising it in New York City on October 23. Contact me to apply: alan@summitconsulting.com

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Las Vegas, Feb. 8, 2016

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A day with limited numbers of participants to explore and create a sound quality of life, tackling issues such as relationships, overwhelm, priorities, personal time, organization, control of your life. Ironically, successful people can also lose their independence if they're not careful about taking care of themselves first. Not even on my web site yet, contact me to apply: alan@summitconsulting.com

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THE ABUNDANCE EXPERIENCE

October 20, New York City

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THE MILLION DOLLAR CONSULTING® CONVENTION

March 16-18, 2016

Los Angeles (venue to be announced)

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There is no other gathering like this for consultants, coaches, and related professions. Join me and my special guest, Marshall Goldsmith, author of the recently released Triggers, along with a variety of experts, experiences, and interactions. Nearly 200 people attended the Atlanta event which continues to draw rave reviews. Major discounts if you register now. Twelve countries were represented in Atlanta.

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December 7-11, 2015

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Use my excellent professional colleagues as resources in areas such as personal wealth building, positioning messages and brands, preparing book proposals, and establishing C-level relationships. Also see our superb Diamond-Level convention sponsors. My special endorsed resources include Dan Janal, Betsy Jordyn, Linda Popky, Alex Goldfayn, Phil Symchych, Mark Levy, and Debi Silber.

  1. ONLY READ THIS IF YOU KNOW ME WELL OR YOU'LL BE NEEDLESSSLY TICKED-OFF DEPARTMENT

I wanted to be ready for the conductor on the busy train. I retrieved my ticket to be scanned.

But when he reached me, I had misplaced the ticket. I peered into the seatback pocket, checked to see if I were sitting on it, looked through my briefcase.

"I really do have a ticket," I assured him, "can you come back after I've searched more?"

"I can," he said, "but what's that you've been holding in your left hand?"

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It's not about what happens to you but about who you can be. -- AW

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© Alan Weiss 2015