Balancing Act: The Newsletter (No. 218, October 2017) Balancing Act® is our registered trademark. You are encouraged to share the contents with others with appropriate attribution. Please use the ® whenever the phrase "Balancing Act" is used in connection with this newsletter or our workshops. Balancing act is in four sections this month: 1. Techniques for Balance 2. Musings 3. The Human Condition: Personalization 4. ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! YOU CAN FIND ME HERE: AND FIND ME ON FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/RockStarOfConsulting Free consulting newsletter: The Million Dollar Consulting® Mindset: Listen to my new, free Podcast Series on iTunes or on ContrarianConsulting.com: The Uncomfortable Truth
• The conflict isn’t between fast and slow, it’s between fast and procrastination. Do it now. Things won’t get done if you don’t. • Don’t argue with the powerless. Ask, “Who has the authority to make this decision?” • Start each day with the same positive, rewarding actions. That’s how stars prepare for a performance or a competition. • The correct metrics are essential. Rhode Island brags about the two best school systems in the state, but neither is in the top 100 nationally. You may be better than the next person, but if that person is mediocre, so what? • After someone preceding you has chosen dinner A, don’t ask the server whether A or B is the best. It’s an awkward question, you may not get an honest answer, and you may make the first person feel bad about the choice. • To parallel park correctly (an ability unknown to any native Rhode Islander), dip your driver’s side tail light inside the driver’s side headlight of the car in back of you already parked, and then cut the wheel. Never pull in front first, which is a rookie move. • Sugarless chewing gum can be fatal for dogs, careful where you dispose of it. • There is zero scientific evidence that a gluten-free diet helps anyone other than those with celiac disease. • You can see most sporting events better on TV, especially with instant replay, but in person you gain the perspective of how hard a ball is thrown, or a serve returned, a kick launched. It’s much more difficult than it looks on TV. • “No worries” is not “you’re welcome": “no problem” is not “you’re welcome”; “right” is not “you’re welcome”; “yeah” is not “you’re welcome.” “You’re welcome” is “you’re welcome.”
I remember working in my early years as a consultant with a company that had a defective product problem. They responded by sending two of the products for every one returned. That’s right, they sent two defective products to atone for the original defective product. My company told them to find the cause of the defect, but they got all tangled up in blame and politics, and the company went under. We often pride ourselves on “contingent” action. That is, we’re proud that we corrected ourselves once we found we were lost. Or we spend a lot of money on fire insurance. Or we jury-rig something to work that wasn’t assembled correctly the first time. And those are, of course, important traits. But they aren’t the most important traits. We waste time being lost and may be late or inconvenience people. We won’t prevent fires with insurance, especially if we have poor building codes or allow people to smoke in dangerous settings. The jury-rigged will never perform as well as the original assembly’s integrity. It’s important to do things right the first time, or at least to find out why we didn’t so we don’t repeat the error. That’s important with raising children, forming relationships, and determining your future. You want to steer your kids away from trouble, not have to “rehabilitate” or treat them later. You want to deal with relationship issues without have to wind up in a therapist’s office. You hope that the sprinkler system and fire insurance is never needed because you’ve been attentive to preventing fires. Contingent action—which address effects, not cause—is expensive, time consuming, and embarrassing. And it’s nowhere near as effective as preventive action—addressed at possible causes. After the sprinkler system does what it must, the furniture is ruined. After you get back on the right course after being lost, you’ve still squandered a lot of time. Take a look around. Do you find yourself, at home or at work, spending a lot of time dealing with symptoms and effects you’d rather have avoided altogether? If so, change your focus to preventive action. Stop fighting fires and start preventing them.
Have you met people who turn every single issue into something about them? They fail to comprehend others’ positions, and simply assume their experience covers everyone. And they’ll bend that experience to suit. I might say, “That was a tough break last night when the player had to leave the game because the ball hit him.” And the other person will respond, “My son had a ball hit him and the insurance company wouldn’t pay because he didn’t miss any school and the tests were negative. This is the problem with insurance in this country….” and off we go. There is a huge quotient of obliviousness in these transactions. I might say, “The Japanese restaurant last night had fresh uni,” and the other person says, “The Japanese are killing whales under the guise of scientific research and we ought to stop enabling them.” I regularly have to deal with people who feel free to voice their opinions without any basis or experience. A third party will ask, “If you have experience with this kind of technology…” and the other person will say, “I’ve never used it but I’d suggest you do the following...” I’ve had people give me advice about vacation sites they’ve never been to, and I’ve had them recommend things they’ve never done. Their frame of reference—their view of the universe—is Ptolemaic: everything revolves around them. When I ask for a recommendation for a steak restaurant, I don’t expect someone who doesn’t eat meat to chime in, much less advise me on her recommendations for my health and a fish diet. I remember a guy looking at my Ferrari once and critiquing it. “Have you ever owned or driven one?” I asked. When he had to admit he had not, I said, “Well hold your critique until you do, because right now you have no idea what you’re talking about.” We need to stop these people in their tracks. They’re trying to work our experiences into their agendas. It’s time to end that meeting.
A man walked out of the Aminta Resort in Stressa, Italy, a "5.5" star resort, and kindly offered us a ride in his van into the small town a mile or so away. We happily accepted. He was very pleasant and well spoken. When we disembarked in town I asked if he always wore a suite and tie to drive the van. "Not for the van," he said, "but because I'm the general manager of the hotel."
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Balancing Act® is our registered trademark. You are encouraged to share the contents with others with appropriate attribution. Please use the ® whenever the phrase "Balancing Act" is used in connection with this newsletter or our workshops.
Someone disagreeing with you is a sign of interest. Someone calling you names and unsubscribing or canceling is a sign of emotional illness Alan Weiss |
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