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Pain and Suffering

We all suffer setbacks, defeats, and failures. Welcome to the human condition. Some are serious and personal within our families and private lives. Some are serious and financial within our businesses and careers. We can’t avoid these, so we must learn to deal with them. I have met people who wanted to close up shop when a pet died. I’m not mocking that, I’ve lost pets and I’ve found it traumatic and nearly-crushing. But my advice has always been to get another pet and allow the soul of the prior one to live on through the new one. We need to turn to positive actions and not wallow in despair.

Our Range of Options

When my father passed away four years ago at age 99 years and 11 months, I was away from home with 16 people who had come from around the world and paid substantial money to be with me. I didn’t rush home for the burial, but arranged for it to be delayed until I could get home. Nothing was accomplished by rushing home and harm was done by not completing my commitment to my clients. You may disagree, but I considered it the bold thing to do.

My father was a combat paratrooper in World War II. I think he would have understood my choice. We have options which we should not let grief overcome or remove. This is true in times of personal loss, but also always true in terms of business setbacks.

Perspective

If you don’t make a sale—your proposal isn’t accepted—it simply may mean that at the particular time on that particular day a particular buyer decided not to say “yes.” I’ve had book proposals rejected and then accepted by someone else with no changes. (Million Dollar Consulting was originally rejected 15 times before being accepted by McGraw-Hill.)

We can learn from our setbacks, be resilient and move forward as better, wiser people. Or we can choose to suffer longer-term, engage in bad habits, seek solace in all the wrong places.

It’s really a question of how well you choose to control your life.

Pain is real and unavoidable, but suffering is voluntary.

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