This is what I've learned from people who are resilient and have overcome grief and trauma more rapidly than many others


Balancing Act®: The Newsletter

(No. 270, February 2022)

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Balancing Act® is in four sections this month:

  1. Overcoming Grief
  2. The Human Condition: All Kinds of People
  3. Musings
  4. ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department


Every day I provide 3–5 brief, pithy pieces of advice for growth. Join the thousands who read these “quick hits” every morning. Over 8,000 followers! Why aren't you among them? AND FIND ME ON FACEBOOK


Overcoming Grief

This is what I’ve learned from people who are resilient and have overcome grief and trauma more rapidly than many others:

  • Never suffer alone. Get help be vulnerable, trust in others, join support groups.
  • Consider and accept professional help. Therapy and counseling can be extremely valuable. But get references from people you trust, including your personal physician, and make sure credentials are in order.
  • Create perspective. Compare what’s happened to other elements of your life and experience. Don’t underestimate a serious setback, and don’t overestimate a minor one.
  • Don’t feel obligated to “go public.” No matter what the intentions of others, especially on social media, feedback from others can prolong sadness and deepen heartbreak. You may also hear unpleasant feedback from malicious people.
  • Help your family and/or intimately involved others. By helping others. You’ll help yourself and you’ll probably feel much more constructive and positive by not merely being self-absorbed.
  • Don’t believe what you may read on social media, Wikipedia, Google, or other search sources. These search engines are replete with misinformation and false information. Check the original sources (e.g., don’t just trust the writer, go to the New England Journal of Medicine that the writer claims is his or her source).
  • Get back to your “routine” as much as you can, setting your own speed. That might mean playing with the dog, watching a favorite show, going back to work, eating at a local restaurant, and so forth. Ease back in, it doesn’t have to be immediately or all at once.
  • Don’t fall victim to addictive distractions. Don’t drink more alcohol than you usually would, or eat more than is normal, or exercise in excess of what’s been good for you.
  • It’s okay to feel “low.” Just don’t make major decisions or purchases or commitments during such periods. Wait until you feel closer to normal and/or have occasional positive periods.
  • Finally, remember that pain is real and unavoidable, but suffering is voluntary. The reason that most major religions have formal, brief mourning periods after someone’s death is to allow for the suffering but also to put a limit on it. You have to realize that you’re not being unfair or unfaithful by limiting yours.
The Human Condition

All Kinds of People

I don’t think “there are two kinds of people,” though I understand the attempts to create strong comparisons.

I do think that people are on continua, and don’t permanently occupy one position, though they may be more comfortable in one place on it than another. Hence, I believe that a label of “extrovert” or “introvert” is a misnomer. We tend to slide on that scale depending on other people, the environment, and the kind of day we’re having. But once we proclaim, for example, “I’m an introvert,” that language tends to inform our behavior, as if we have to prove that our label is accurate.

So “tree huggers, deniers, vaxers, anti-vaxers, isolationist, internationalists, far right and far left, millennials, boomers, right-to-life, and woman’s choice” do nothing for me. Because the people “dumped” into these huge boxes are actually individuals who may agree with you on some things but not others. It’s like putting all the consonants in one box and all the vowels in another and saying that neither needs the other to make sense.

My observation is that those with flexibility and the willingness to compromise are the most successful, whether leaders or entrepreneurs, working in companies or working solo. If I try to understand you I may well be able to reach some agreements, though not on all things. If people hold opposing points of view the distance between them is, by definition, “middle ground.”

I’ve changed my mind on a lot of things, and I’ve changed a lot of people’s minds on a lot of things over the years. That’s part of the growth and maturation process. But I can’t agree with you and you can’t agree with me unless we try to understand each other. And, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never learned while speaking, I’ve learned while listening.

Some things you can’t compromise on, I get that. But most things you can. To quote the much-maligned Thomas Jefferson, “In matters of taste, swim with the tide. In matters of principle, stand like a rock.”

Beware, though: Strongly flowing waters can erode even rocks.



The Covid progression has been epidemic to pandemic to endemic. That means that from a localized (national) basis, it became widespread (international) in impact, and is now a localized acceptance (routine).

In other words, as we must, we’re learning to live with it.

Covid will not be eradicated, as the flu and common cold haven’t been eradicated (and measles which were nearly eradicated came back because of people’s refusals to vaccinate their kids). We will learn to live with it with prophylactic measures—vaccines which are largely effective but not always—and contingent measures—pills and other interventions which reduce the effects, but not always. We will continue to live with the fact that those not vaccinated are at the most risk of infection and death, and they will continue to strain the health care system.

We will also live with what we’ve learned. That is, come issues like remote work will continue as prudent and cost-effective. Some issues, such as huge conferences, will largely decline as not needed and overly expensive without a sufficient return on the investment. And some things we’ve always placed value on will be continued: paying more for excellent service, prudent risk in traveling, remote shopping, in-person family gatherings.

Life is not an “on/off” switch, it’s more of a rheostat. We make gradual and often minute adjustments, not unlike unconsciously turning the car’s steering wheel a half-inch frequently to keep in our lane. We don’t stop listening to music or thinking about our next vacation or stopping a conversation with a passenger, to fixate on: I must make a slight adjustment in my direction.

We don’t think about “plugging into the electric grid” when we turn on a light, and we don’t think about “joining the internet” when we turn on our computer. Similarly, we won’t think of dealing with Covid any more than we do about catching a cold, driving in heavy traffic, or worrying about a power outage. We’ll have measures in place that protect us as much as possible.

Marshall McLuhan said, “The price of eternal vigilance is indifference.“ That’s why TSA has to rotate the people staring at the monitors so often.

We have to stop staring at Covid and go back to living our lives accepting the new realities.

Only Read This if You Know Me Well

At the ultra-swank Beverly Hills Peninsula Hotel I’m incensed that the special juice bottles (“conducive to sleep”) that are left in the evenings have tops that won’t open. They are defective and are sealed where twisting should separate them from the bottle.

At the point I have five of them unopened I meet the maid the next morning and explain that the shipment must be defective. Without a word, she takes the bottle in my hand, twists off the top, and hands it back to me.

Then, quite politely, she says, “Is there anything else you need, sir?”

Development Opportunities
Six Figures to Seven (627)

Six Figures to Seven (627)

I haven’t run this in several years, and then only twice in the US and once in London, once in Sydney. It’s occurred to me that I now know additional and faster ways to reach seven figures, having helped hundreds of people to get there. And the pandemic experience has major implications. Million Dollar Consulting and “seven figures” are metaphors for achieving the lifestyle and true wealth (discretionary time) that you desire. This experience, which I may never repeat at this stage, will get you there.

February 10-11, 2022 (two full days)Las Vegas, Nevada

Fee: $4,500

Million Dollar Consulting® Global Online Program

Million Dollar Consulting® for the World

I’ve provided 14 modules with videos from me, from your colleagues globally, slides, and text. They include everything from launch to self-esteem, proposals to fees, closing business to creating a brand. No upsells! It’s only $115. What do you think about a 10,000:1 ROI?

Hosting Revenue-Generating Meetings

Hosting Revenue-Generating Meetings

Too many seemingly good meetings with no business resulting? You can’t pay the mortgage with meetings held. Learn how to transition business meetings, speeches, Zoom calls, and even networking into short-term business. You need to “run through the tape,” right? NEW: I’m video-taping the six-hour session and you can obtain the video for half-price, $750. Order here:

The Role Play Workshop

The Role Play Workshop

Join me in Dallas on April 29 in an intimate setting for a day of role play where we exchange roles and practice from “both sides.” We’ll deal with sales meetings, referral requests, networking discussions, expansion business, advisory offers, overdue payments, rejecting scope creep, and whatever else is on your mind. We’ll also be adjusting language to reflect today’s new realities in terms of technology, remote meetings, social mores, economics, strategy, and much more. For example, do you realize there’s a vast difference between “budget” (always strained) and “money” (always available)?

The Power Community Experience

The Power Community Experience

I’m launching a new variation of coaching and growth for people who seek an intense, shorter-term opportunity to grow dramatically. It will combine group and personal advisory help, and will mix several opportunities for self-development. Join me for 60 days on specific growth topics and personal coaching in a small group, including weekly Zoom calls, monthly livestream broadcasts, free participation in one of my workshops, and much more. Beginning mid-March, discount for joining this month:

Beyond Thought Leadership

Beyond Thought Leadership

Six “stars” from my community from five countries will be interviewed by me in this live, 2.5 day experience. I’ll be introducing new IP, case studies, and role-plays. And the final interview will be with me. This is one-time only, it was difficult to organize. Limited participation, in Miami in November, register now, no one else can offer this experience for your growth.

Ferocious Time Management

Ferocious Time Management

I’m tired of wasting my time hearing people tell me they have no time!!In a rare appearance in San Diego, I’m going to help you ruthlessly organize yourself so that you have time to close business, deliver a remote speech, create a book outline, and learn to tame wild beasts before lunch. Seriously, time is “elastic,” and you can stretch it to accommodate what you need to accomplish. Moreover, most people work too hard to achieve too little. Discretionary time is wealth, not money, but we’re prone to work so hard chasing money that we erode our wealth. Create greater output in a 20-hour week!


Alan Weiss’s Balancing Act® Newsletter is a registered trademark of Alan Weiss and Summit Consulting Group, Inc.
© Alan Weiss 2022

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