BALANCING ACT: BLENDING LIFE, WORK, AND RELATIONSHIPS® A free monthly newsletter about balancing life, work, and relationships based on the books and popular workshops conducted by Alan Weiss, Ph.D.
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Balancing Act®: The Newsletter(No. 310, May 2025) |
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BALANCING ACT: BLENDING LIFE, WORK, AND RELATIONSHIPS® A free monthly newsletter about balancing life, work, and relationships based on the books and popular workshops conducted by Alan Weiss, Ph.D. Past copies are archived on our web site: http://www.summitconsulting.com Copyright 2025 Alan Weiss. All rights reserved. ISSN 1934-3116 Balancing Act® is our registered trademark. You are encouraged to share the contents with others with appropriate attribution. Please use the ® whenever the phrase “Balancing Act” is used in connection with this newsletter or our workshops. NOTE: To change addresses, or to unsubscribe, use THIS LINK Balancing Act® is in four sections: Follow me on X. Every day I provide 3-5 brief, pithy pieces of advice for growth. Join the thousands who read these “quick hits” every morning. Over 9,500 followers! Why aren’t you among them? AND FIND ME ON Facebook. Listen to my free Podcast Series on Apple Podcasts or on ContrarianConsulting.com: Alan Weiss’s The Uncomfortable Truth®. And watch A Minute with Alan® daily on all social media and my blog. |
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Part of my work for decades has been professional speaking. By “professional” I mean that I’m paid handsomely to appear on stage for up to an hour as a keynoter. My objective is to please the buyer —not the audience, and not myself. The buyer is investing in me and often wants me to enrage the audience and show them that they have to change their beliefs and behavior. I do it well, and I’m in the National Speakers Association Hall of Fame®. In the vast majority of speaking assignments, there are feedback sheets for the audience to complete. In my entire life, I’ve never read them. I’m solely concerned with meeting the buyer’s objectives. We colloquially call these forms “smile sheets,” and they are usually designed by human resource people with questions that focus on lighting, enjoyment, style, attire, and all kinds of things that have no bearing on the value. (I’ve found that women, especially, bear the brunt of irrelevant feedback on dress, hair, and appearance in general, especially from other women.) Then there is the acute politeness today of the mandatory standing ovation. People feel obligated to give speakers (and, for that matter, theatrical performances) ovations far too generous for what has actually occurred. I think part of this is due to a feeling of obligation and fear of not doing it, and part because the audience doesn’t want to admit that they’ve paid good money for a dud. So they stand and applaud politely but not enthusiastically. I call this the TSO: Tepid Standing Ovation. Finally there are those who provide feedback that wasn’t requested. Such unsolicited feedback is always for the sender, not the recipient, and therefore it’s always unhelpful. Some benighted souls say, “The only thing to do with feedback is to accept it.” Not so, I’ve found, because when I’m asked if I’d like some feedback I say, “No, and in fact, I’m due at the airport in nine minutes, so long.” I once spoke in San Franciso for 200 people and the coordinator would not let anyone leave until each person filled out a dozen questions on her smile sheets. She asked if I’d like to stay and go over them. “No, I have this plane…” I explained. A few days later she called me and told me I had 198 “10” ratings, and two “9” ratings. “You must be happy,” I said. “Well she said, I’m calling to talk about the two 9s. Both people said they didn’t like your sarcastic New York humor.” “Lady,” I said, “you haven’t yet heard my real sarcastic New York humor, but you’re about to….” |
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