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What if the buyer IS the problem?
I’ve steadily warned not to assume the people who are smart enough to have hired you are also the people dumb enough to have created the problems requiring your being hired! Yet, on occasion, that’s been precisely the case.
Sometimes it’s inadvertent, behaviors or errors the buyer isn’t cognizant of making. But sometimes it’s advertent, generated by behaviors and style that the buyer believes are required of a leader but which aren’t effective (and can be destructive).
What to do?
If your objective assessment (and not the schoolyard gossip) is that the buyer is the cause of the problem, then consider this approach.
- Use observed behavior. “Do you recall in this morning’s meeting when you cut off Joyce during her financial report?”
- Focus on cause, not personal shortcoming: “I think you’re trying to hurry the meeting along, is that right?” As opposed to, “You’re insensitive to people’s needs.”
- Do it privately, never in a meeting with others.
- Ask if the client agrees. “Do you concur with the situation and language I’m reporting?”
- Ask if the client is willing and able to change or does the client need your help and suggestions. If the client says, “I can easily stop that,” then accept it, and observe again in the future. If the client wants help, suggest waiting for a count of two seconds after another person stops talking.
- Provide positive feedback when the behaviors are changed.
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