My calling is to improve the lives and businesses of people globally. I love doing this, so there’s never “work” to be done (unless my wife tells me to take the garbage out or go fetch the cleaning).


Balancing Act®: The Newsletter

(No. 276, August 2022)

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Balancing Act® is in four sections based on famous quotations:

  1. The Beach Issues
  2. The Human Condition: A Calling
  3. Musings
  4. ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department

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Some of my favorites
  • I get to the beach at about 8 am when the lifeguards are still getting situated, and watching them run a mile on the sand or swim in the breakers exhausts me.
  • While I admire seagulls, on three consecutive days a gull took a nip out of a sandwich I was holding at about chin-level. The third time it knocked the remainder onto the sand. The gull would always come from behind me so I had no warning. Would have made a good fighter pilot: Top Gull.
  • There is nothing to bring home the power of nature as getting smacked unawares by a big breaker and tumbling on the bottom, holding your breath.
  • Counterintuitively, you escape a rip tide by swimming perpendicular to it (parallel to the beach) and not against it.
  • Some traffic jams are simply inexplicable. There are no accidents, no detours, just packs of cars not moving.
  • It seems to me that most drivers do not understand the concept of “keep right except to pass.” In Italy, with only two-lane roads, they do this with great discipline. In the US, on four-lane interstates, they do not. Some people are ignorant, some oblivious, and some just pseudo-macho (and otherwise insecure).
  • Speed laws are reciprocal in reality. Fewer than ten percent of drivers observe a 60 MPH limit.
  • The beaches in Jersey are often so wide that you need a sherpa to carry your stuff to the water’s edge. Why there aren’t college kids charging $20 for a round trip is beyond me.
  • The key to a rental house isn’t so much the number of bedrooms as it is the number of bathrooms.
  • My very favorite boardwalk game is Whack-A-Mole. (I have a miniature version in my den, about five feet away from this computer.) It’s a great way to work out anything that ails you. Instead of my gavel, I’d like to bring the mole mallet to some meetings I chair.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself

A Calling

My calling is to improve the lives and businesses of people globally. I love doing this, so there’s never “work” to be done (unless my wife tells me to take the garbage out or go fetch the cleaning).

This isn’t a “job” or a “career.” It’s my mission, my raison d’être. I find that people who have this kind of passion are happier, healthier, and tend to find innovative routes to their goals instead of whining in a corner.

My landscaper loves to tell me about trees and shrubs. I might have only asked for a bush to be pruned or a tree planted, but I indulge him because his enthusiasm is infectious, and I learn things as well. (Vines climbing trees look nice, but they often kill the tree.)

My veterinarian, who did a tour tending animals in Afghanistan for the military, demonstrates things with the dogs so that I can tell if they’re uncomfortable or feeling unwell at home (dogs are notoriously stoic and don’t readily display pain).

And the people in the finest restaurants will talk to you about their food and wines all night if you allow them to and you don’t mind your food getting cold! (Sommeliers confirm for me that Harlan Estates is a truly great red, but Screaming Eagle is far overrated.)

I don’t mind when people choose not to engage me and refuse to do business. I give it my best shot. I figure it’s their loss. I can’t force someone to be helped and improved, I can only try to convince them it’s possible and important.

Some people act as if their “calling” is merely making money. And some evidently think it’s being on stage and the center of attention. Others think it’s to be leader of the pack.

This isn’t about alpha dogs or even lead dogs. It’s about preparing well, showing up totally, doing your level best, and then going home to a great life. There’s always a bigger boat. But humanity is in the same boat so we’d better get good at helping each other.

Otherwise, we’ll capsize.

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

I’m a pretty good consultant. I realized over the years, that I was starting every project with the same questions, and that they were shortcuts to finding the most likely routes to resolution, and therefore they became part of my unconscious competency.

My expertise is especially strong in problem solving, decision making, and innovation (past, present, and future, not exactly rocket science).

Several years ago, my wife feared a heart problem at about two in the morning and we agreed that the best course of action was to drive her for about ten minutes to an emergency room at Kent County Hospital. The “intake” process was instantaneous, and by the time I had parked the car after leaving her in admissions she was in a bed being seen by nurses. (Impressively, no one visited for over an hour about insurance and payment.)

I was sitting at her bedside for about five minutes when the doctor walked in, introduced himself, and began asking my wife questions without examining her in any way as yet. He was asking “my” questions!

Once he had his information, he consulted with the nurses’ findings, then did a short physical examination of his own, and told us that there was no heart problem, it was merely some aches and pains and indigestion. He arranged for a room for my wife to stay overnight for observation.

I caught him outside and told him about the questions. He asked what I did for a living. After listening, he told me that we are both diagnosticians, we need to gather similar information, and we are both highly effective and fast in gathering it.

Many years ago, I may have been about six, my grandmother asked me what I wanted to be. I told her “a fireman.” I loved the big engines.

“You can’t do that!” she said, “they don’t make much money. You need to be a doctor.”

I hope she’s happy.

I'm an Old Cowhand...

When I travel, I carry my wallet in a front pocket, because I think it’s easier for a pickpocket to take it from a back pocket. (I don’t know how people hold on to their phones carrying them sticking out of a rear pocket.)

We were at the Jersey Shore on vacation last month, and when my wife and I returned to the Rolls from shopping, the trunk opened on its own. I left the car and closed it. Moving out of the lot, it opened again, and I stopped and closed it. Now I’m wondering if I need to call Rolls’s roadside assistance, which would take hours or a day to get down there.

At a stop sign, there’s a police car across the street, but I have the right-of-way. After the turn I look in my side-view mirror, and he is behind me. But I can’t see him in the rear-view mirror, because the trunk is open once again. I signal, pull over, and get out. The officer pulls up, says, “Don’t worry, I was behind you all the way, and nothing fell out!!”

I said, “You didn’t see all the hundred dollar bills?”

“Nope,” he smiled, and wished me a pleasant day. I closed the trunk once again, but when it opened in another 50 yards we had only three blocks left to our house and I left it open.

My wife said, “Maybe if you put the roof up the trunk will stay closed?” I’ll be damned if I’m driving a Rolls convertible at the beach with the roof up, and I began to seriously consider tying it shut with rope in my emergency kit.

As I walked around the car thinking about this, I absent-mindedly began fingering the keys in my back pocket, which I had switched with my wallet. That’s when the trunk opened yet again.

And that’s when I realized I had been sitting on the Rolls key and thereby hitting the button which opens the trunk with my own trunk.

Development Opportunities
Coaching Confidential

Coaching Confidential

Subscribe to my new monthly newsletter, Alan Weiss’s Coaching Confidential™ beginning in September. The charter subscription is only $60 for the year. Every issue will have a case study, a humorous or bizarre coaching adventure, and contemporary coaching methodology. You can sign up here:

Return to Australia

Return to Australia

I’ll be making my 19th trip in October, this time to Brisbane, to present a week of unique offerings from passive income and global “reach” to a new strategy approach. Join me and your peers for my latest value to grow your business and decrease your labor facing our “new realities.” There is limited seating capacity. Fees increase on September 1.

Return to London

Return to London

I’ll be hosting a two-day, high-level discussion of likely business futures globally, financial considerations, global passive income, the new realities of sales, new approaches to strategy, and so forth. There would be a limit of eight people. I’ll also conduct a full-day experience for a larger group, probably a limit of 30, for an entire day which will address new approaches to value based fees, the five essential short-term revenue generators, role playing difficult conversations, the advanced Accelerant Curve, and scaling the practice.

November 29: General Session, 9 to 4.
November 30 and December 1: Intimate Session, 9-4 both days.

Million Dollar Consulting® College

Million Dollar Consulting® College

I’ve been asked to run this again, and I miss it, so I’m going to do it on December 13-15 (2.5 days) in Castle Hill, Newport, RI, my usual stomping grounds. The beach houses in the winter are fantastic. There’s a great holiday atmosphere that time of year. I’ll be focusing on what I’ve seen as the critical areas for success: brand-building, accelerating referrals, provocative IP, low labor revenue focus, the post-pandemic lasting realities, and so forth.

The fee is $15,000, which includes lodging, breakfast, lunch, breaks, and one dinner. If you catch me at the bar, it could include two dinners. I’m also going to take time to show how I create this and other workshops, step by step, live or remote. If you register with me prior to June 1 the fee is $12,000. Past grads are welcome to attend for $5,000.

Million Dollar Consulting® Global Online Program

Million Dollar Consulting® for the World

I’ve provided 14 modules with videos from me, from your colleagues globally, slides, and text. They include everything from launch to self-esteem, proposals to fees, closing business to creating a brand. No upsells! It’s only $115. What do you think about a 10,000:1 ROI? We have over 500 people from 43 countries.

Beyond Thought Leadership

Beyond Thought Leadership

Six “stars” from my community from five countries will be interviewed by me in this live, 2.5 day experience. I’ll be introducing new IP, case studies, and role-plays. And the final interview will be with me. This is one-time only, it was very difficult to organize, and there’s no one else, anywhere, who can bring this talent together in one place at one time. Limited participation, in Miami in November, register now, this will not occur again.

Miami, November 8-10.

Creating Dynamic Communities

Creating Dynamic Communities

This is the future of our marketing in professional services, evangelism and peer referrals. Over 40 people have begun building their communities through this program. Join me on August 30-31 for two, three-hour Zoom sessions covering every aspect of building, sustaining, and capitalizing on professional communities of buyers and prospects.


Alan Weiss’s Balancing Act® Newsletter is a registered trademark of Alan Weiss and Summit Consulting Group, Inc.
© Alan Weiss 2022

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