I believe that low self-esteem, which seems chronic today, is largely caused by a feeling of powerlessness.
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Balancing Act®: The Newsletter(No. 286, June 2023) |
Balancing Act® is our registered trademark. You are encouraged to share the contents with others with appropriate attribution. Please use the ® whenever the phrase “Balancing Act” is used in connection with this newsletter or our workshops. NOTE: To change addresses, or to unsubscribe, use THIS LINK Balancing Act® is in four sections this month: Follow me on Twitter. Every day I provide 3-5 brief, pithy pieces of advice for growth. Join the thousands who read these “quick hits” every morning. Over 9,000 followers! Why aren’t you among them? And find me on Facebook. Free consulting newsletter: The Million Dollar Consulting® Mindset: summitconsulting.com/million-dollar-consulting-mindset/. Monthly, fast advice on consulting techniques with case studies. Listen to my free Podcast Series on Apple Podcasts or on ContrarianConsulting.com: Alan Weiss’s The Uncomfortable Truth.® And watch A Minute with Alan™ daily on all social media and my blog. |
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PowerlessnessI believe that low self-esteem, which seems chronic today, is largely caused by a feeling of powerlessness. In other words, people tend to feel that they are most influenced by external power: the government, the weather (natural disasters), pandemic, the misinformation and disinformation of social media, the boss, the owner, parents and siblings. (The extreme extrapolation of this is the Calvinistic pre-determination: The fates have already decided what’s to become of you.) Remember that TSA’s policy is that everyone is guilty until proved innocent, in contradiction to everything we’re told about the law. (Note that they call them “courts of law” and not “courts of justice.”) People atone for this through pseudo-power. They refuse to merge on the road, refuse to allow you to turn in front of them, cut you off without warning. They cut the lines at the theater or the airport, sneak into clubs in which they’re not members, bully others on social media at a great distance (which they wouldn’t dare to in person). We experience “the great resignation” and “the gig economy” and “quietly quitting.” But these are merely media memes that attempt to explain the superficial. High self-esteem is a requirement for success. That means that you have to realize and assert your personal power. There are things out of your control, but in bad weather you can move an event indoors, and the IRS inquiry can be handled with a good tax accountant. A relative who ruins family events needn’t be invited in the future. The Serenity Prayer makes sense, if I may paraphrase: Don’t sweat the things you can’t control, focus on what you can control, and learn to tell the difference between the two. And don’t forget that if you believe that there is no external control and that you, personally, are in complete control, you’ve either been exposed to too many “motivational speakers” or have had too much to drink. |
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We were sailing on the Queen Mary II and attended Catholic services on Sunday morning in the theater. Hundreds of people showed up, and the priest was quite good. By accident, when we entered the elevator to get to our deck, the priest boarded a floor below. My wife and I told him the service was very nice, and I asked, “Father, how do you get an assignment like this?” “Oh, I do it frequently,” he said, “and you probably wouldn’t understand the business, but I’m placed by a professional speaker’s bureau!” |
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