I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that most of you will agree that we ought to give each other a break.


Balancing Act®: The Newsletter

(No. 287, July 2023)

Balancing Act® is our registered trademark. You are encouraged to share the contents with others with appropriate attribution. Please use the ® whenever the phrase “Balancing Act” is used in connection with this newsletter or our workshops.

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Balancing Act® is in four sections this month:

  1. Time Wasters
  2. Musings
  3. The Human Condition: No doubt, no benefit
  4. ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department

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Time Wasters
  • Reviewing social media sites several times a day and commenting.
  • Self-editing, rewriting/re-recording materials that don’t need it.
  • Responding to any unsolicited sales pitches or offers.
  • Tracking investments and the stock market daily.
  • Experimenting with new software when current stuff is fine.
  • Taking on too large a project at one time instead of part of it.
  • Managing people (staff, virtual assistants, subcontractors, etc.).
  • Worry about minor matters (poverty mentality).
  • Ego fragility: being offended, planning to get even.
  • Stress from unresolved relationships in the family.
  • Fret over being “ghosted” and disrespected.
  • General malaise because you don’t feel “in control.”

All of this is about esteem and how positive or negative you feel about yourself.


One day I walked into a restaurant in New York to wait for my wife who was meeting me for dinner. I sat at the bar where there was a female bartender and a woman customer who knew each other and were chatting animatedly.

“What do you do?” asked the customer. I briefly explained. “Do you coach people about relationships?” she asked. I told her my PhD was in psychology.

“Tell him,” she said to the bartender, who was obviously her friend. The bartender told me about a particularly emotionally abusive relationship she was in and the stress it was causing.

“What do you think?” asked the bartender.

“Leave him,” I said. “He has no respect for you.”

“You see?” asked the friend.

My drink was on the house, my wife showed up, and we all said good luck to each other. I don’t know what eventually happened, of course.

But I do know that people tend to pay attention to objective, impartial strangers who are willing to listen, have expertise, and appear to want to help. And I take that very seriously, because it’s an influence that is constantly abused on social media and can have severe negative repercussions

The Human Condition

No doubt, no benefit

Remember “the benefit of the doubt”? That was meant to convey the belief that, when something was in doubt, give the other person a break. Don’t assume guilt, or fault, or ulterior motive. Maybe it was just a mistake, or an accident, or your misunderstanding.

So we tended to ask, “Is that what you meant to say?” or “Why exactly did you do that?” or “Perhaps I’m not understanding this correctly.” We also forgave people when it was their fault, they did make an error. Marriages generally have not ended because of a forgotten anniversary or the divorce rate would be even higher than it is.

Today, we almost always assume fault and flaw, and often we assess malice. We don’t just believe someone inadvertently causes us pain, we default to the belief that they intentionally wanted to harm us. We don’t see accidents, we see conspiracies. And we don’t forgive or forget.

We get even.

We’ve moved light years away from “Do unto others….” to “undo others.” The other people aren’t wrong or even mistaken, they are ignorant and unethical. We see this clearly from a higher moral plain. If you’re not here to help me than you must be here to hurt me. There is no middle ground. You’re with me or against me. And if you’re against me, well you’re an inferior and subject to whatever I can dole out to demonstrate that.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that most of you will agree that we ought to give each other a break.

I'm an Old Cowhand...

There was another iPhone software update overnight, and the next morning all of my apps were changed. Some were missing, all were in different order, some I didn’t recognize. Then my password didn’t work. I was furious.

In frustration I grabbed the phone as if to throw it, but felt a strange sensation. The case had changed, as had the protruding lenses.

I had picked up my wife’s phone.

Development Opportunities
Autumn in New York

NEW: Autumn in New York

Join me for 2.5 days of a great growth experience. I’ll be presenting new IP on the nature of the No Normal® workplace and how we can best attract and help clients. We’ll talk about new approaches to strategy for all types of organizations. Every participant (who so desires) will get “air time” to discuss a particular challenge, question, or strategy. I’ll take you to dinner at two of my favorite restaurants, we’ll see a Broadway play with great seats, and there will be a tour with a unique New York touch. We’ll start with an opening evening reception. Limited to 14 people. October 10, 11, 12. $12,000 fee (until Aug. 31, after that $15,000) includes meals and lodging. Join me for a great business and social experience.

Business As A Second Language

NEW: Business As A Second Language

This 90-minute Zoom workshop will deal with reframing, social proof, instant examples, influence techniques, turning objections into selling points, and a great deal more. It will be interactive and recorded for ongoing use. Preparing for meetings is important (until, as the saying goes, you get punched in the jaw). I’ll help you stay in the moment and outduel anyone. Are you tired of worrying about “what you should have said”? Now you’ll be able to say it at just the right time. All this for $350, and you can drink while attending. September 14, 10:00 AM US eastern time. Recorded for all registrants. (After Aug. 15, $500.)

The Remote Millionaire™

NEW: The Remote Millionaire

Yes, I’m going to provide the secrets (and puncture the myths) of making a million dollars or more a year without leaving your home. And, ironically, I’m going to do it in person, because I’m scheduled to be in San Diego and LA for other reasons and I generate so much money remotely that I like to be with people on occasion (in good weather)! Here’s what you’ll create or improve without leaving home, except for this day with me:

  • Developing unsolicited referrals.
  • Creating client evangelism with prospects.
  • Delivering powerful marketing discussions.
  • Creating contemporary passive income.
  • Establishing client “banks” that are used and replenished.
  • Moving to and enlarging a trusted advisor network.

We’ll be using role plays, actual participant services (from prep work), and exercises to develop the skills to market, deliver, and expand business through dramatic and tangible value from a distance. We’ll master how to do this with individuals, small groups, and/or large audiences.

Speaking with Alan

Speaking with Alan

One of my most popular experiential events, run twice a year. Learn how to create, refine, deliver, price, and market a speech of any length. A small group practices and video tapes the components over 2.5 days. Are you charging less than a minimum of $10,000 per speech? Are you agonizing over content, or not drawing a sufficient audience? You need this session NOW!

The Master Master Class

Master Master Class II

This sold-out event in March was so popular that I’m running another in October in Newport. I accept 16 people in person (you may also attend remotely on our large screen) and we have 6 seats remaining! I’m creating new material, exercises, and challenges. Past “grads” get a discount. One person said, “I’ve known you for nearly 20 years, and this is the best thing you’ve ever done!” (Maybe I just wasn’t that good before!)

The Advisory Suite

NEW! Alan’s Advisory Suite

Nine options for groups or individuals to receive “real time” coaching to build their practices and lives on a continuing basis. The strongest, best people in business, entertainment, sports, the media—all use coaches.

For individuals and/or groups.

Million Dollar Consulting® Global Online Program

Million Dollar Consulting® for the World

I’ve provided 14 modules with videos from me, from your colleagues globally, slides, and text. They include everything from launch to self-esteem, proposals to fees, closing business to creating a brand. No upsells! It’s only $115. What do you think about a 10,000:1 ROI? We have over 500 people from 47 countries.

Million Dollar Consulting® Global Online Program ADVANCED

New: Million Dollar Consulting® for the World ADVANCED

The new program contains over 60 videos and has 15 modules focusing on what to do in the buyer’s office, overcoming crises, financial planning, and much, much more.

Sentient Strategy Certification

Sentient Strategy Certification

My new book on the topic released in March so this is an ideal time to market Sentient Strategy. Write me to apply, join over 70 people certified in six countries. One-time fee of $12,000, includes 90 days of my support, free admission to all future certifications, and admission to a private web board with other Sentient facilitators. In a recent program a particpant sold a $100,000 strategy program within 48 hours.

Vancouver Day

Vancouver Day

I’ll be providing a full day in Vancouver for as little as $300 (US) including lunch on September 9: How to Dramatically Increase Revenues while Radically Reducing Labor. I’ll be returning from an Alaskan cruise and need the money to pay for it! This is a rare appearance in Western Canada.


SAC Annual Meeting - San Diego/Hybrid

Join me for the upcoming Society for the Advancement of Consulting (SAC) annual meeting in San Diego and hybrid on Nov 14th. I’ll be speaking in the morning, followed with additional content from colleagues. Click to learn more and register. Stay over and join me at The Remote Millionaire on the following day.


Alan Weiss’s Balancing Act® Newsletter is a registered trademark of Alan Weiss and Summit Consulting Group, Inc.
© Alan Weiss 2023

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