Difficult Conversations and Dysfunctional Lives

Difficult Conversations and Dysfunctional Lives

There is a great deal of work being done today around what's called “difficult conversations.” I think the work is important and needed.

In my experience, I've witnessed, been part of, and had to deal with more poorly done performance evaluations than good ones. I've had to help people gain the courage and proper language to talk to colleagues, let alone customers and prospects.

The basic issue is that we don't want to endure the “pain” of dealing with a tough or sensitive issue: performance, relationships, behavior, lies, failures. So we live with a long-term ache instead of facing the short-term pain. It's like avoiding the dentist and the needle and drilling to cure a toothache, and instead living with the discomfort endlessly.

Of course, the same applies to people in long-term, very unhappy marriages, who dread the pain of divorce. Divorce IS painful, but it's temporary, and horrible, continuing bad marriages can destroy your health and your soul.

Pain is temporary, suffering is voluntary. Don't avoid the difficult only to create the debilitating.