Leveling the Playing Field
(The Dog Star is a symbol of power, will, and steadfastness of purpose, and exemplifies the One who has succeeded in bridging the lower and higher consciousness. – Astrological Definition)
When Koufax chases Buddy in the house, as though he’s after a squirrel or rabbit, he sometimes has a glint in his eye wherein neither I nor Buddy can tell if he’s playing or serious. Buddy then performs an interesting maneuver.
He jumps on a couch or hassock and confronts Koufax eye-to-eye. He can’t outrun him, and can’t really fight him from the ground. But, even with smaller teeth, claws, and a shorter reach, he can be pretty formidable at eye level. He and Koufax feint and dodge and weave with great bearing of dentition, but no one gets hurt, and soon the Shepherd gets bored and finds a football or tennis ball to play with. Buddy catches his breath and tries to find some food to steal, and we’re back to normal.
Buddy has leveled the playing field.
Here are some techniques to level the playing field when you tend to be intimidated by people or environments:
• Meet on neutral turf. Suggest a meal, which you pay for, or an event.
• If you’re in someone’s office and they say, “Make yourself comfortable,” sit on the casual furniture, not across the desk from your host.
• Study the company and/or the person to get advance intelligence, easier than ever these days. (At a major gala and fundraiser, a man I had just met seated next to me asked about “Million Dollar Consulting” and my last trip to Australia. I was aghast. He told me later he had asked his host about the seating arrangements, and then Googled me.)
• Be aware of the moment. Have you read the newspapers today? Have you watched the news? Have you read up on the events which tend to affect the other party?
• Check things out in advance. Ask a third party what the attire is, if gifts are expected, if gratuities are allowed, when most people plan to arrive, and other things that are making you uncomfortable or uncertain. Always get to meetings at least 30 minutes early and have something to read. Wait and contemplate, don’t rush.
• Don’t shoot yourself in the foot. It’s very hard to hold a drink in one hand and eat shrimp cocktail with the other, for instance, or to graciously eat a sparerib at a reception. Don’t walk on thin ice with a flamethrower pointed at your feet.
• Be prepared for the usual inquiries or objections or skepticism. If someone asks how you can be of help as “just a solo practitioner,” don’t tap dance about networks or resources coming out of thin air. Just say, for example, “All of my larger clients seem to prefer that, why wouldn’t you?”
• Never accept deliberate malice or passive/aggressive behavior. If someone says (as one person did to me who was making $2 million annually), “You’re from New York? That’s the sewer of the universe,” reply, as I did, “Tell me, what makes you people in Boston so insecure?” (That’s what he needed and we worked together just fine.) If someone in HR says, “We’ve had bigger name consultants than you,” just reply, “Yes, and I’ve had bigger name clients.”
• Always be prepared to smile and laugh. Don’t be afraid of using humor. Released endorphins are wonderful things. (Are there “free-range endorphins”?)
If a Beagle can face down a German Shepherd, you really shouldn’t be having too much trouble leveling the playing field. But remember, you’re a different species.
So don’t jump on the hassock.
© Alan Weiss 2009. All rights reserved.
