Thank You, Thank You (music), Thank You, Thank You (more music), Thank You….

Thank You, Thank You (music), Thank You, Thank You (more music), Thank You….

The award shows are all examples of unfettered excess, but the Oscars seem to, well, take the award for the worst of the worst. Designers who apparently hate women put them in bizarre outfits that the women can barely walk in, shoes that cause vertigo with help needed for stairs, and hair and makeup that require a team of four over an hour to apply. Then there's the borrowed jewelry, the dumb red carpet patter, and winners—many of whom are actors and/or public figures—who can't remember who to thank or what to say and have to pull out notes! It's like an amusement park experience. There should be a warning, as in Disneyland: If you're listening to this acceptance speech at this point, you have an 11 minute wait before moving on….