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Unrequested Gifts

Unrequested Gifts

I had my car inspected Monday, required every couple of years in this state, and I couldn’t use my dealership since it is in another state. I went to one of the few, independent, full service gas stations around, where I usually get gas, which is owned by a curmudgeonly guy who is never happy. Think of the “Soup Nazi” in Seinfeld.

I thought I had given him everything, but I neglected to provide one piece of documentation, and he called me very unhappy and chastised me for the omission. I returned with the item. He kept telling me that he wasn’t feeling well, was in pain, his schedule was off, he was working too hard (which is pretty much what he said when I had another car inspected last year).

I told him calmly that I wasn’t trying to cause him more misery, and that I understood his issues. He lowered his voice and explained more about his physical woes. The bill came to $55, and I gave him a hundred and said, “Merry Christmas.” He said, “Oh, no, I don’t expect this.” I said, “I appreciate your work.”

We shook hands and wished each other a Merry Christmas.

I’m imperfect at this and my tendency to react quickly often escalated problems instead of de-escalating them. But I’m getting better. I’m trying not to be too proud of myself, but I can say that I’m happy with my “new” reactions.

Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

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