In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking

I Little Lightness in the Crisis:  The telephone instruction “Please listen to this entire message because our options have recently changed.” The service line recording, “This call may be recorded for quality control purposes.” Most packaging that claims “100% recyclable.”

A woman actually wrote on LinkedIn this morning that we should avoid the self-check-out machines in stores in order to make sure there are jobs for cashiers. People making such claims are the people voting in the primaries and general

I happened to hear James Carville on the news this morning. He was my guest not too long ago at one of my events, and it was also his birthday. I ordered Makers Mark bourbon, his favorite, which, inexplicably, the

Complaints about too many tourists in a location uttered by people who are, themselves, tourists, is just about the height of a lack of self-awareness. Every single person who’s ever offered me unsolicited critique about my cars, clothes, jewelry,

Do designers ever ask the intended customer to consult with them? I think it's great having power outlets on planes, but when you have to turn on the iPhone flashlight and kneel on the floor to find it and make sure

I bought two new bird feeders recently online. They came promptly, well packaged, and with dozens of directions! I was looking for the instructional video! There were also warnings, because apparently some people like to eat birdseed, or don't know

On the internet, no one knows you're a dog. That's pretty clever. Also quite profound. No one knows what most people's credential are, or what the validity of their advice is. The social medial platforms are great homogenizers of commentary. Everyone

For every aphorism there is an equal and opposite aphorism, Alan's Fifth Law of Linguistic Reversals. For example: Haste makes waste. But: The early bird catches the worm. (The early worm is eaten.) Actions speak louder than words. But: The pen is