Reflections on the Passing of George H.W. Bush
The following is an excerpt from the January edition of my newsletter Balancing Act®.
I watched people of all persuasions and positions come together to pay respects to George H.W. Bush. I heard wonderful words, funny stories, and poignant remembrances. These often came from former opponents and foes.
We deal daily, it seems, with people with whom we disagree, often virulently. They may be strangers, acquaintances, even family members. The disagreement is sometimes a debate, sometimes an argument, sometimes a vendetta. We sometimes, as a result, forsake former friendships and sever family ties. We assign derogatory labels: deniers, bleeding hearts, bigots.
People often face the deaths of friends and loved ones realizing the last encounter with them wasn’t the one that the would have wished for. They pine for another chance, attempting to somehow rewrite the final words, the final sentiments, the ultimate feelings.
What if we took a pause in out enmity, a break in our antipathy, and considered the eulogy first? Does that sound macabre? Well, as you read this, every major newspaper and broadcast news outlet has a pile of obituaries and honors “in the bank” awaiting the demise of famous people. What if we all considered what we would like our final encounter to be like with someone—and how we’d prefer to remember them and reflect on their influence—before we allowed our anger to ignore what they had to say and to define them as an “enemy” or “ignorant” or “dumb”?
It’s touching how sensitive we are to one’s merits and contributions when the die, but it’s confounding how insensitive we are to their presence while they’re still with us, albeit in disagreement with some of our cherished values, beliefs, and, often, myths.
I know it’s a bizarre thought for some of you, but what if, before condemning and slandering and castigating someone who disagrees with us, we considered what we’d be feeling and saying if they were no longer with us? And, for that matter, would people be saying how much they missed us, focusing on our great, lasting influence?
Or would they just be saying, “Good riddance!”?
