The Walking Dread

The Walking Dread

Self-absorbed: Being overwhelmingly concerned only about yourself and your own well-being, no matter how trivial, irrespective of the impact on others.

Example: The person who stands in the doorway of the theater to discuss the play, while others are trying to exit. The person who stops at the bottom of a moving escalator to chat. Any person who discusses anything during a theatrical performance.

Recent sightings:

• At an omelet station in a buffet, a woman directs the chef on how to cook her egg, demands it be left longer in the pan than he intended, then interrupts his conversation with another guest to tell him she thinks it’s starting to burn.

• At that same station, the chef correctly remembers the six ingredients that a woman requested the prior morning, and instead of saying “Thank you, that’s impressive,” she says, “Right, but more mushrooms this time.”

• A man walks up to the concierge who is talking to another guest, simply interrupts, and asks for dinner reservations.

• In the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, FL, a man with bare feel, no shirt, a wet bathing suit, and a drink in his hand, stands at the main desk trying to tell the employees about his dinner while others wait to check in.

• Anyone in a classroom who, without asking or consulting any others, demands that the temperature be changed to his or her personal comfort level, instead of dressing appropriately.

• The person on a plane or train who watches a movie or plays a game on a tablet without earplugs and the sound on.

• The person who regales the flight attendant with personal stories preventing everyone else from receiving prompt service.

• The individual who asks for a favor, whom you tell you have one minute before going into a meeting, who then tries to talk for ten minutes.

• The person who asks you if you’ve ever seen a particular play or visited a certain resort or stayed at a certain hotel, which you confirm you have, who then proceeds to tell you all about it anyway.

• The person who demands they receive something for free, despite the fact everyone else pays for it, because “You’ll be better off knowing me,” or, “I can really help you.”

I’d rather deal with zombies.

© Alan Weiss 2015