Reality IS Perception

Reality IS Perception

I hear a lot of consultants asking themselves (and me!), “What really happened in there?” It’s as if they had an experience in someone’s office, but are fairly certain their perceptions don’t reflect reality.

I have news for you: There is no utter reality, no file under “What actually occurred,” no third party umpiring the game (and, of course, umpires are notoriously subjective in the way they call balls and strikes). There are only your perceptions and the other people’s perceptions.

So how do you know if they match or not? Because, if they do, then you can be certain you’re dealing with reality, since you have a shared, common perception of what occurred. There is no other version.

You need to test before you leave. You must investigate whether what you perceive is the same as what the prospect or client perceived. Here are some excellent testing questions:

• Are we in agreement that I’m responsible for X and you’re responsible for Y?
• What is your impression of our next steps?
• What are the opportunities you see as we conclude this meeting?
• What are the risks you see as we conclude this meeting?
• What remaining obstacles are there that we’ve discussed or haven’t discussed?
• Who else are we going to involve from here?
• What are the deadlines we’ve agreed upon?
• What are the three or four top priorities at this juncture?
• What resources are we missing?
• How are we judging progress from here?
• What are the ultimate outcomes we’re agreeing on?
• The next time we talk will be on this date at that time, correct?

You get the idea. You don’t need a bare light bulb and uncomfortable wooden chair for the interrogation, but you do need to ensure that, before you go out the door, you and the others present agree on these kinds of basic facts. “We’ll talk soon,” and “We have some terrific opportunities,” and “There could be some rough patches,” just don’t cut it. Even statements such as “I’m pleased,” and “This has been a good meeting, good progress,” may mean different things to different people (“better than I had hoped for,” or “but not as good as I expected”).

When a client doesn’t follow through, or you don’t get paid as expected, or you’re not supported as you had intended to be, it’s often not a case of the other person letting you down. It’s frequently a result of your not taking the extra time to make sure that you shared the same reality.

Perception, we’re told is reality. Well, then the converse must be true: Reality is perception. Don’t you agree?

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.