Something Stinks Here
I believe in good grooming. I think most people take care of their health as best they can, and that includes bad breath, body odor, and, ah, so forth. In fact, it’s quite an exception to be at work or in an elevator or at an event and find yourself gasping because of someone’s body odor or personal uncleanliness. (I’ve been on some crowded buses earlier in my life which would be an exception, but I wouldn’t know how to take a bus today.) I make no exceptions here by biology, anatomy, identity or any other word ending in “y.”
Yet, with an abrupt invasion, along comes Lume which advertises it’s for the complete body, “in all cracks,” under bosoms (my word not theirs), and for women especially, “everything at the waist and below.” it is marketed “for private parts.”
And just this morning the Times (no less) ran an investigation and ranking of the best “travel underwear.” What does that mean? Driving? Public transportation on the commute? Flying to Amalfi? Well, it turns out they measured (I am not making this up) “dampness absorption,” retention of odor, and “wick” effectiveness. (That means “to draw off liquid by capillary action.”)
I know that people pee in pools, and that incontinence is a serious problem for some people. But are people peeing their pants on the way to work, on escalators, or in airplane seats because they’re too lazy to go to the lavatory (or can’t get by the snoring, larger person on the aisle)?
Have I an unnoticed olfactory deficit, whereby I’ve missed all these odors, smells, and stinks among my fellow travelers? (I have a physical exam twice a year, but I don’t recall any doctor ever specifically testing my ability to smell obnoxious odors. Maybe that’s a blessing?)
In any case, I may be somewhat behind the stench curve here, but I haven’t experienced some rise in toxic human emissions that demands that we cover our bodies in Lume, or aloe, or Jack Daniels (which is for internal consumption only). But the next time you’re with me, well, I may just take a sniff or two to see if you’re properly wicked.
