Alan Weiss’s Monday Morning Memo® – 06/03/2024
There are people called “moirologists” who are professional mourners. Yes, this is a global profession going back thousands of years and still being practiced today. Their compensation ranges from about $30 to $100 per “event.” I recall, in my youth, the wailing and crying at many (mostly Italian) wakes. I was told that these people were only partially family, because some were professionals hired for the task.
Mourning is a public display of loss. The Jewish tradition of Shiva (“sitting Shiva” in English) can be as long as seven days involving family and friends in the ritual. Islamic mourning can involve more than four lunar months. In the now illegal Hindu ritual of suttee, a widow was expected to throw herself on her husband’s funeral pyre.
We often wear black, some societies rend garments (Keriah), or we use ribbons and other indicators to publicly inform people we are mourning. It is a public gesture and involvement. When I was younger, people would take off their hats, or bow, or cross themselves when a funeral procession passed. (Today we see cars cutting through the procession so that they’re not delayed by the deceased.)
Grief, on the other hand, is highly personal. Although it can be expressed in crying, that is not really a public gesture of mourning but rather an uncontrolled personal response (and, thus, often evokes efforts to hide it). Grief is sometimes explained in six stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and hope.
Am I deliberately trying to depress you? No! Just as pain is inevitable but suffering is voluntary, I’m trying to point out that sadness and tragedy are often best migrated from terribly lonely grief to more pubic mourning. People use social media to share losses of relatives, friends, jobs, and pets. They receive commiseration in return, sort of a virtual wake, from friends and followers.
Public mourning also puts things in perspective, and doesn’t allow grief to take on greater repercussions than it should. And it therefore tends to dissuade one from self-harm, mentally and/or physically. Recently, a distant relative lost her husband abruptly and shockingly. After she mourned constantly and publicly for two weeks, and after we helped her in every way we could, I felt justified in telling her it was time to pull herself together. And she did.
I once thought we were prolonging grief through these rituals, but we are not. We are engaged in mourning to respectfully acknowledge our hurt, but also to give ourselves—with others’ help—the power to move on, to limit our grief.
One should be neither a perpetual mourner nor griever. We acquire new pets, we build new houses, we change careers, we remarry.
Such is life.
Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. —Russell M. Nelson
Grief is the price we pay for love. —Queen Elizabeth II
The five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. —Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
As soon as something happens to us in America, everyone begins talking about healing. But before you heal, you have to mourn. —Edward Hirsch
NEW!! The Spontaneous Session
People laugh today when I tell them I’ve “prepared” for a Zoom or live session. They know my speeches are mainly riffs, and that I never change a word or phrase when I’m writing my books. (My all-time best-seller, Million Dollar Consulting, through six editions, has had exactly one paragraph changed by the publisher.)
What I want to do on Halloween is give you a treat by showing the tricks of my trade. I will actually demonstrate how you can be spontaneous and also highly impressive, controlled, and effective. You will walk out of the morning able to use spontaneity in business meetings, social and civic settings, in speeches and presentations, and in conflict. If you stay for the afternoon, you’ll be able to practice this with your colleagues and then with me. If you can do this with me, you can do it with anyone!
If anyone else is providing this kind of help, I don’t know about it. If you stay for the afternoon, I’m buying lunch. And at the end of the day we’ll vote as a group on the best extemporaneous performance of those remaining and I’ll provide a credit for your entire fee to use for any of my future programs.
Stop saying, “I wish I had said….” or, “Next time what I’ll do is….” You don’t have to risk $200,000+ (as I once did) and I guarantee you won’t be risking this tiny investment either in freeing yourself to be even more successful immediately.
October 31, 2024. Las Vegas, venue TBD 9 am to 4 pm (afternoon optional) Full day $1,250, Half day $950 Lunch included with full day. https://alanweiss.com/gro
Thought Leadership 2024
I’m hosting a tenth Thought Leadership Conference, and our first such session post-pandemic, in Delray, Florida area on September 10-12, 2024. This will probably be the last such “live” event of its kind since my future plans are to create a quarterly Zoom subscription for this endeavor in 2025 and beyond. We will focus on:
• The No Normal® of the workplace and how to market and succeed in continually turbulent times. • What the impending US presidential election will mean for professional services. • How to create weekly, relevant, dramatic IP. • Staying ahead of the innovation curve using your own past and continuing “body of work.” • Passive, global income generation—creation and sustainability. • Options for successful use of discretionary time. • Financial realities and metrics for safety and security (and prudent risk). • Topics raised in the prep work sent to participants.
My newest book, Building Dynamic Communities: creating an evergreen client ecosystem, to be released later this year, will be personalized as my gift to you when it’s available, and the morning of the third day of the 2.5-day event will be optional and included in the fee. I’ll be “riffing” on that day on politics, society, education, personal wealth, and so forth.
The fee is $15,000, which includes rooms, breakfasts, lunches, and a cocktail reception. Finally, if you attend this session you may join the quarterly Zoom sessions next year for free, a $2,000 value.
My very special guest is the leadership guru, Hall of Fame speaker, and great wit Lou Heckler, who will be with us throughout the workshop.
Register here, please: https://alanweiss.com/
Million Dollar Consulting® for the World: I’ve provided 14 modules with videos from me, from your colleagues globally, slides, and text. They include everything from launch to self-esteem, proposals to fees, closing business to creating a brand. No upsells! It’s only $115. What do you think about a 10,000:1 ROI? We have over 500 people from 47 countries. https://milliondoll
Million Dollar Consulting® for the World ADVANCED: The new program contains over 60 videos and has 15 modules focusing on what to do in the buyer’s office, overcoming crises, financial planning, and much, much more. https://alanweiss.com/gr
Sentient Strategy Certification: My new book on the topic has been released, so this is an ideal time for you to market Sentient Strategy. Write me to apply, join over 70 people certified in six countries. One-time fee of $12,000, includes 90 days of my support, free admission to all future certifications, and admission to a private web board with other Sentient facilitators. In a recent program a participant sold a $100,000 strategy program within 48 hours. Write me at [email protected]
NOTE: I’ve reinstated my inexpensive, limited coaching program I last used during Covid because I’ve found people who need help right now growing their practices. I’ve offered it to past coaching participants, but I can handle several more people at this point. Five calls at your desire: review proposals, prepare for meetings, create passive income, etc. $2,024. You simply have to use them before the end of the year, 30 minutes each. Should pay for itself 20 times over. You can write to discuss ([email protected]) or sign up by paying here: https://alanweiss.com/st
Want to join me for my Book Sprint? In 60 days complete a proposal for an agent or an acquisitions editor (or the outline and marketing plan for a self-published book). We have an 80%+ “hit rate” for obtaining book contracts, complete with my introductions. The schedule is flexible and I’ll create one around the first people to register. The fee is $4,500—we meet weekly by Zoom with assignments in between and a common Drop Box to review each other’s work. Write me at [email protected].
Not Without Honor….
“A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.” —The Gospel of Mark, 6:4
Join me for a monthly newsletter that will explore, analyze and predict ramifications of issues and events in global societies. Each issue will focus on topics that will include politics, social mores, the arts, sports, technology, financial affairs, and other contemporary issues.
Develop the ability to discuss current issues with dexterity and insight and become an object of interest to others, whether clients, colleagues, or friends. The discussions will be brief and focus on three-to-five issues per edition. Letters and commentary from readers will be welcome.
For example, as we are undergoing the dynamics of morbidity outpacing fertility in most developed countries, there will be a profound labor shortage if actions are not taken rapidly. This includes such diverse political systems as China and the US. There are three key areas, that must be utilized to accommodate what is apparently a multi-generational problem. We’ll discuss what they are and analyze what must be done to successfully resolve the dilemma.
You get the idea. The first issue launches in October. The fee is $500 for the year of newsletters, including all back issues if you join during the year. If you subscribe prior to August 1, the fee is $400. https://alanweiss.com/
