Alan Weiss’s Monday Morning Memo® – 7/13/26
Across from my gym is an “old fashioned” Shell station, owned by the same guy for 50 years, where his sons are extremely friendly and helpful. But he is a classic curmudgeon, someone who makes the late Andy Rooney seem like Mel Brooks.
Our pickup, which is used solely for Maria’s planting and the dogs’ accompanying me to get coffee, and me accompanying them to their vet checkups, was showing low oil. It’s a four-year old Toyota with 6,500 miles on it and I’m told I could get the original price back if I sold it today.
The station was just opening at 6 am and the dogs agreed to divert from coffee and biscuits to stop in. As the owner, there alone, griped about my Shell card and couldn’t find the code, and didn’t hit the computer right, I asked him to check the oil. “Open the hood,” he commanded.
The oil was empty, nothing on the stick. Now he was in his element. He explained to me this had to be a leak at the oil pan because the engine was spotless. He then crawled under the truck, at the pump, and said he could see a slight leak. He said from underneath, “If the washer is still in there, I can fix this,” and went into the large repair area (four bays) of the station for a special wrench. He submerged again, fixed the loose plug and joked that he was happy his “fat head” fit underneath. “If it were your Rolls,” he said, “I would never go under there.”
He then explained about how he deduced the origin of the problem and suggested that at my last service the technician didn’t properly replace the plug. When he asked where I kept the truck, and I told him on gravel behind my garage, he told me that’s why I never saw a leak, which I would have on asphalt. “Bring it to me next time, I can service this for you, fat head and all!” he smiled.
I will do that.
All of us have a story, a self-image, real, fictitious, or combined. We like situations and life experiences to fit into that story: Someone comes to us for help, we can demonstrate our expertise, our suggestions are welcomed, we’re asked to participate in something, and so on. When we tap into those stories, we establish empathy, emotion, and collegiality with others. This guy was fascinating when he talked about mechanical mechanisms.
Try it with your next encounter with someone who’s difficult, or even someone you’ve just met. And always do so with a prospective client. They just might, metaphorically, volunteer to help you out and even crawl under the truck.
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. —Bob Marley
We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all. —Eleanor Roosevelt
Assumptions are the termites of relationships. —Henry Winkler
So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship—it's actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect. —Ellen DeGeneres
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