Alan Weiss’s Monday Morning Memo® – 03/25/2019
I explain to people whom I coach that they should never assume the other person is somehow “damaged.” Too many consultants assume immediately that the boss is the problem, even though the boss was smart enough to hire them for help!
We tend today to look at a person’s past to determine who they are in the present. That’s like looking in the rear view mirror to determine where you are at the moment. The entelechy of our lives is in the here and now. At reunions, I’m shocked when someone says to a colleague, “You haven’t changed at all!” Oh, yes I have.
I want to deal with others in their present, not their past, and I’d like the same treatment. If you find me intolerable today, fair enough, that’s your right. But finding me intolerable because of something I did in my callow youth is ridiculous if I’m a different person today. I can’t change the past any more than I can change being right-handed.
I accept whom I see in front of me. Your behaviors and values will determine whether I continue to accept you and to what degree. And if you think I’m somehow damaged merely because I don’t agree with your point of view, that acceptance will end pretty instantly.
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. — Eckhart Tolle