Alan Weiss’s Monday Morning Memo® – 06/24/2024

Faithful reader Eric May unearthed this piece I wrote 16 years ago and suggested I republish it. To my astonishment, I could have written this yesterday and it would be just as appropriate and, I hope, valueable for you.

How to Escape Misery

How to escape misery. That’s right. I’m going to help you very quickly, very rapidly escape misery. So listen, if one or more of these apply to you, here’s how you escape.

Number 1, stop internalizing and personalizing everybody else’s problems. There’s a word for that and it’s called “neuroses.” Other people have problems and they are responsible for solving them. Believing that you are somehow the one who has to take on the burden is ridiculous. Let them have the responsibility. By all means, support them. But don’t think it’s your internal problem or challenge to do so.

Next, forgive yourself. That’s right, you deserve to be happy. Start giving yourself a break. You forgive others, right? Why not forgive yourself? The person we least forgive is the person in the mirror. So stop suffering, stop holding long and deep grudges, stop treating yourself like you ought to be beaten down. You’re not unworthy. So stop telling yourself you are.

Next, stop isolating yourself. Don’t avoid contact. You need a support system. It might be loved ones. It might be family. It might be friends. It might be colleagues. It might be people at work or people at clients or people in trade associations or people in the community or people at the coffee shop. Don’t allow yourself to be isolated. Don’t reject help that’s offered. I’m not talking about unsolicited feedback. I am talking about honest-to-goodness offers of support.

Next, stop trying to please everybody. We spend a whole lot of time trying to make sure everybody else is pleased with us. Don’t compromise your standards. It’s okay if some people are pissed off. “What did he say?” Yes, I said it. It’s all right. Your personal value doesn’t depend on acceptance of others. Your personal value depends upon self-mastery. That is, how do you feel about yourself?

Next, stop comparing yourself to others. You’re your own person. So, speaking of self- mastery, be ipsative not normative. In other words, who are you according to you? Stop looking at others as your standard. Stop looking at another as the person who is your avatar. A lot of those people have feet of clay. A lot of those people are before Congressional hearings right now or they’re indicted for fraud. Please stop worrying about it and just be yourself.

Next, live for the moment. Don’t look back in nostalgia and don’t look forward in anticipation, look around and enjoy yourself. Today is today; it won’t come again. Nor will this minute. And so, enjoy yourself in the moment. That’s what self-actualization is all about. Don’t be afraid to relish where you are right now. Don’t feel guilty about that. Enjoy yourself. Connect with that, don’t dwell on past mistakes and failures. I’ve got news for you, you can’t undo them. In fact, the best thing you can do is learn from them. But then, move on. Stop focussing on things you can no longer change. It’s astounding how many people spend time focussed on things they have no power in the world to change. Making yourself miserable doesn’t help others you’ve made miserable in the past, trust me.

Next, try to stay positive and oriented towards solutions and new levels of performance. Don’t be negative. Don’t always look at problems. I talk to people who sigh after every other sentence. “That’s right, {sigh} well I guess I’ll get more money today.” Oh, that’s too bad, sorry to hear it. For goodness sakes, remain positive. Self-talk is real talk. Talk to yourself positively and look at your surroundings positively. Believe me, it could be worse.

Next, don’t allow yourself to be controlled by others or by circumstances. We’ve touched on this a little to this point. But it’s too easy in a world that is trying every day to make you into something else and to fall victim to that. So don’t allow yourself to be controlled. Don’t worry about what the advertisements say you should be wearing. Don’t worry about what unsolicited feedback tells you about your behavior or your speaking or your interactions. Don’t allow yourself to be controlled by others unless you respect their opinion and unless you solicit it.

Next, take on involvement and responsibility. People who take on accountabilities are better off. The best people I meet on committees, on boards, on task forces are those who stand out in a crowd and chair something, or head something, or take a risk. Try new things. You’ll be successful. You’ll get increased satisfaction. But don’t sit around avoiding involvement, avoiding responsibility. The world is not like that. Step out of the crowd. Get into the limelight.

Two more. First, set realistic expectations for yourself. If you want to lose weight, if you want to get in shape, fine. But telling yourself to lose 35 pounds in 2 months is ridiculous. On the other hand, signing up for a gym and promising to go 3 times a week is probably pretty achievable. Don’t set unrealistic goals. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to make a million dollars one year from now. If you do, great! Listen, I’m not against having all the confidence in the world. But it’s much better to say, “Someday, in the meanwhile, I’m going to double my present income from $200,000 to $400,000.” So don’t set unrealistic expectations. Set expectations and achievements that you’re likely to hit.

Finally, base your worth on things that you believe in. Don’t base your worth on externals. Not external feedback. Not the way you look. Not what you do. Not your job title. Not the possessions you have. Love yourself unconditionally. Don’t base your worth on things to be pointed to. Now that comes from someone who wrote Million Dollar Consulting, and I am well aware of that. But I also know who I am. You have to know you’re a good person. You have to believe that you’re a good person. And if you do, the world will look a lot better because you are a good person.

© 2008 Alan Weiss. All rights reserved.

Not Without Honor….

“A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.” —The Gospel of Mark, 6:4

Join me for a monthly newsletter that will explore, analyze and predict ramifications of issues and events in global societies. Each issue will focus on topics that will include politics, social mores, the arts, sports, technology, financial affairs, and other contemporary issues.

Develop the ability to discuss current issues with dexterity and insight and become an object of interest to others, whether clients, colleagues, or friends. The discussions will be brief and focus on three-to-five issues per edition. Letters and commentary from readers will be welcome.

For example, as we are undergoing the dynamics of morbidity outpacing fertility in most developed countries, there will be a profound labor shortage if actions are not taken rapidly. This includes such diverse political systems as China and the US. There are three key areas, that must be utilized to accommodate what is apparently a multi-generational problem. We’ll discuss what they are and analyze what must be done to successfully resolve the dilemma.

You get the idea. The first issue launches in October. The fee is $500 for the year of newsletters, including all back issues if you join during the year. If you subscribe prior to August 1, the fee is $400. https://alanweiss.com/growth-experiences/not-without-honor/

NEW!! The Spontaneous Session

People laugh today when I tell them I’ve “prepared” for a Zoom or live session. They know my speeches are mainly riffs, and that I never change a word or phrase when I’m writing my books. (My all-time best-seller, Million Dollar Consulting, through six editions, has had exactly one paragraph changed by the publisher.)

What I want to do on Halloween is give you a treat by showing the tricks of my trade. I will actually demonstrate how you can be spontaneous and also highly impressive, controlled, and effective. You will walk out of the morning able to use spontaneity in business meetings, social and civic settings, in speeches and presentations, and in conflict. If you stay for the afternoon, you’ll be able to practice this with your colleagues and then with me. If you can do this with me, you can do it with anyone!

If anyone else is providing this kind of help, I don’t know about it. If you stay for the afternoon, I’m buying lunch. And at the end of the day we’ll vote as a group on the best extemporaneous performance of those remaining and I’ll provide a credit for your entire fee to use for any of my future programs.

Stop saying, “I wish I had said….” or, “Next time what I’ll do is….” You don’t have to risk $200,000+ (as I once did) and I guarantee you won’t be risking this tiny investment either in freeing yourself to be even more successful immediately.

October 31, 2024. Las Vegas, venue TBD 9 am to 4 pm (afternoon optional) Full day $1,250, Half day $950 Lunch included with full day. https://alanweiss.com/growth-experiences/spontaneous-session/

Thought Leadership 2024

I’m hosting a tenth Thought Leadership Conference, and our first such session post-pandemic, in Delray, Florida area on September 10-12, 2024. This will probably be the last such “live” event of its kind since my future plans are to create a quarterly Zoom subscription for this endeavor in 2025 and beyond. We will focus on:

• The No Normal® of the workplace and how to market and succeed in continually turbulent times. • What the impending US presidential election will mean for professional services. • How to create weekly, relevant, dramatic IP. • Staying ahead of the innovation curve using your own past and continuing “body of work.” • Passive, global income generation—creation and sustainability. • Options for successful use of discretionary time. • Financial realities and metrics for safety and security (and prudent risk). • Topics raised in the prep work sent to participants.

My newest book, Building Dynamic Communities: creating an evergreen client ecosystem, to be released later this year, will be personalized as my gift to you when it’s available, and the morning of the third day of the 2.5-day event will be optional and included in the fee. I’ll be “riffing” on that day on politics, society, education, personal wealth, and so forth.

The fee is $15,000, which includes rooms, breakfasts, lunches, and a cocktail reception. Finally, if you attend this session you may join the quarterly Zoom sessions next year for free, a $2,000 value.

My very special guest is the leadership guru, Hall of Fame speaker, and great wit Lou Heckler, who will be with us throughout the workshop.

Register here, please: https://alanweiss.com/growth-experiences/thought-leadership-2024/

Million Dollar Consulting® for the World: I’ve provided 14 modules with videos from me, from your colleagues globally, slides, and text. They include everything from launch to self-esteem, proposals to fees, closing business to creating a brand. No upsells! It’s only $115. What do you think about a 10,000:1 ROI? We have over 500 people from 47 countries. https://milliondollarconsultingcourse.com

Million Dollar Consulting® for the World ADVANCED: The new program contains over 60 videos and has 15 modules focusing on what to do in the buyer’s office, overcoming crises, financial planning, and much, much more. https://alanweiss.com/growth-experiences/advanced-global-learning-program/

Sentient Strategy Certification: My new book on the topic (above) has been released, so this is an ideal time to market Sentient Strategy. Write me to apply, join over 70 people certified in six countries. One-time fee of $12,000, includes 90 days of my support, free admission to all future certifications, and admission to a private web board with other Sentient facilitators. In a recent program a participant sold a $100,000 strategy program within 48 hours. Write me at [email protected]

NOTE: I’ve reinstated my inexpensive, limited coaching program I last used during Covid because I’ve found people who need help right now growing their practices. I’ve offered it to past coaching participants, but I can handle several more people at this point. Five calls at your desire: review proposals, prepare for meetings, create passive income, etc. $2,024. You simply have to use them before the end of the year, 30 minutes each. Should pay for itself 20 times over. You can write to discuss ([email protected]) or sign up by paying here: https://alanweiss.com/store/quick-pay/

Want to join me for my Book Sprint? In 60 days complete a proposal for an agent or an acquisitions editor (or the outline and marketing plan for a self-published book). We have an 80%+ “hit rate” for obtaining book contracts, complete with my introductions. The schedule is flexible and I’ll create one around the first people to register. The fee is $4,500—we meet weekly by Zoom with assignments in between and a common Drop Box to review each other’s work. Write me at [email protected].

2024 Virtual Workshop Series:

Major Growth Issues for Professional Services Providers

I’ve designed this series around the most frequently asked questions in my global coaching program, and from the advice I’ve provided that has most rapidly propelled people to much higher income and far less labor intensity. Everyone enrolled in each 90-minute program will receive a recording. I also encourage questions in advance.

All sessions are on Mondays at 10:30 US Eastern time so that you can begin your week with new approaches. The sixth session is intended to create a far more powerful 2025.

Session One: Ghostbusters            

July 22, 2014: Learn how to prevent people from “ghosting” and what to do in case they do refuse to return calls and emails. However, my methods for avoiding this entirely are highly effective, and can be applied immediately—in fact, as soon as you leave the workshop or video. People call me back because they can’t afford not to.

Session Two: The Real Story: August 26, 2024

Story telling has been proven to be one of the most effective and high impact methods to influence others. Learn the three components of any great story, how to create them, introduce them, deliver them, and exploit the results. Discover the events in your life that are great stories that you don’t even realize you own. And learn how to immediately recall the appropriate story when needed extemporaneously. 

Session Three: Brevity: September 23, 2024

Learn to shut up.

Session Four: Achieving and Sustaining Results Leadership: October 21, 2024

Step away from the hackneyed “thought leadership” (Does that mean you have more thoughts than everyone else?) and into the rarefied atmosphere of unequivocal achievements and concomitant brand power. Believe it or not, the thinking didn’t go into creating drills, but rather how to create holes. 

Session Five: How to Be A Contrarian and Live to Tell About it: November 18, 2024

You need an “edge,” the ability to unsettle people. There IS such a thing as “too much quality,” and “overly happy employees.” The customer is NOT always right, and while the early bird may get the worm, it’s the early worm that gets eaten. Follow me right to the edge without falling over it, and learn how be a constant object of interest.

Session Six: The 20-Hour Week, the Million Dollar Year: December 9, 2024

Some people say, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” I say, “The smarter I work, the luckier I get.” Learn how YOU can create a 20-hour-a-week approach to your profession and/or practice, and  how that can create a million dollars (or more) annually. These are not metaphors. I’m serious. You don’t believe that? Well, what if a thousand people bought this entire series that you are considering right now? That’s over a million dollars for me “working” 90 minutes a month for six months. If you think I can do that, but not you, I thank you, but shame on you! Don’t you think you ought to invest enough to see what you’re capable of, and if it’s possible for you? I mean, even if it’s 25 hours….

All sessions are recorded and distributed promptly as part of the program. The Special Sessions (below) are arranged with me at mutually-convenient times over the ensuing 12 months.

Single Session: $350

Two Sessions: $650

Three Sessions: $900

Four Sessions: $1100

Five Sessions: $1,200

Six Sessions: $1,300

Special Sessions: All six plus six 30-minute Zoom coaching calls with me, one-on-one: $2,500. These appointments will be adjusted to accommodate differing time zones.

 Register here: https://alanweiss.com/store/quick-pay/