Alan Weiss’s Monday Morning Memo® – 3/14/16

One huge key to high self-esteem—yours and others’—is to use language that speaks to the person and not the issue. Telling your sons and daughters that you’re proud they achieved a high score on a test is nice, but telling them they have a great grasp of the subject is better. Praising a play in a ball game is good, but the observation that the player is a wonderful athlete helps more.

The same applies to “self-talk.” We too often fail to obtain a sale and conclude we’re lousy marketers, instead of simply ackowledging we missed that one opportunity. Conversely, when we gain a new client, instead of considering “I did well in that meeting” reflect on “I’m excellent in senior executive interactions.”

Robespierre said that “No one can step outside the shadow of his own character.” My suggestion is that we all work to build our character and its shadow by supporting not what we’ve done in one circumstance, but who we are in general.

“Evil” spelled backwards is “live.”

— Chinese proverb

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