In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking….

In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking….

• The saddest people I see are the guys out early in the morning at the beach with a metal detector and headphones, searching for lost items.

• If you have to resort to calling people names instead of arguing the facts, you simply have no intellect whatsoever.

• The only people more arrantly stupid than those in other countries trying to sell SEO services via spam and mass mailings are the people who actually buy from them.

• I’m a tad tired of celebrity news people visiting tragedy-stricken sites and bemoaning the lack of resources. Why don’t they simply write a check while they’re there, since they’re making multi-millions?

• My response to about 90 percent of female stars on TV is: Get a good meal. That’s what’s attractive about Sophia Vergara. She looks like a woman, not a starving child. Since when is emaciation sexy?

• We’ll know that gay people have achieved equal status when it’s no longer newsworthy when someone in the public eye has “come out.”

• We get 50 choices for “Miss USA” but only two for President? Do I have that right? And the winner is more articulate than either of the other two.

• When I ask to be taken off a list that I never asked to be on, and the other person retaliates by demanding to be taken off my list which he DID ask to be on, I can’t do it fast enough. Schoolyard games, anyone?

• Women grunting with every shot in professional tennis makes me want to reach for a gun. Professional wrestlers are less offensive.

• I love Olympic competition, but what does it REALLY mean if someone is a hundredth of a second faster in a race?

• Speaking of which: I love London, but you don’t have enough money to get me there during the Olympics. (The Baglioni, where I usually stay, is fully committed for all of July, every room purchased by one company.)

• If anyone is interested or in the market, I’ve found that the BMW X5 5.0 is far superior to the Mercedes GL 550. (I think that “M” and AMG high performance versions in an SUV are simply silly.)

• In most of our lifetimes there will be only three major newspapers nationally: Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and USAToday. The rest will be weeklies and specialized.

• Game of Thrones, Damages, The Closer, Boss, Mad Men, Memphis, Nurse Jackie, Bunheads, Falling Skies, The Borgias, Downton Abbey, et. al.: There are more excellent shows on television than ever before and anywhere else.

• Notoriety and fame are two different traits. Not only do most people fail to understand the linguistic difference, they seem also to miss the character distinction.

© Alan Weiss 2012. All rights reserved.