In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking….
- Are you telling me that we can create particle accelerators to find elements that exist for a nanosecond, but we can’t create a sealed product that can be easily opened with just a pull on a tab? It takes a peregrine falcon to open a package of blueberries.
- Did the people who produced True Detective’s first season have talent removal surgery prior to producing the second season, which is ludicrously bad, with more unintentional zombies than the Walking Dead?
- If CVS service were any worse, the employees would be assaulting the customers, which is the logical next escalation.
- Calls are not “recorded for quality purposes,” because if they were, the quality would improve, wouldn’t you think? Calls are recorded for CYA purposes.
- “I love this work” is too often uttered by people who love it so much that they are afraid to ask for justifiable compensation or equitable fees.
- “Often” always had a silent “t” until recently, as people get lazier and lazier. If you don’t believe me, listen to Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance, and the major general.
- Social media platforms, particularly YouTube, Linkedin, and Facebook, have evolved into huge vanity publishing operations.
- The great cable show, Ray Donovan, recently had a hilarious send-up within the plot of the Wheel of Fortune’s Pat Sajak and Vanna White.
- The airlines made seats that recline which are included in the price of the ticket. If someone reclines their seat in front of you, provided for in their purchase, stop acting as if you’ve been accosted and discriminated against. It not the other passenger’s job to adhere to your whims.
- You know the old saying about how people don’t get their rental cars washed? Well, it applies even more to their hygiene in public restrooms.
- Tesla seems more like a charity than a car company, lobbying constantly for more restrictions on internal combustion engines because of their own weaknesses in range and reliability. In fact, internal combustion engines are now minor pollutants, achieve increasing mileage efficiencies, and we have more petroleum reserves today in the US than we did in the 1950s. (It takes 30 minutes to charge a Tesla for about 175 miles of range in normal highway driving. It takes three minutes to fill my tank for 300 miles of highway driving.)
- Trump will make a deal to support someone, making an excuse to drop out of the race “which I probably would have won if I had been able to continue.”
- Why is New Jersey the only state in the union where the legislature believes that people will self-immolate if they fill their own fuel tanks? Are New Jersey people somehow dumber than everyone else? (It’s curable, I was born there but got out.)
- I still cringe at “final destination” in the inane airline announcements, but when I hear “terminal descent” I want to recommend the speaker be completely reeducated, terminally-speaking.
© Alan Weiss 2015
