Jersey Shore VI

July 22, 2010

We went to The Pier Restaurant last night and had a wonderful meal. My daughter prefers white wine, so we had a Far Niente ’05 Chardonnay. Very nice and kept on ice, something rare these days. When we left, at about 7:30, the restaurant was only 20% filled, which was once unthinkable. Nor was the beach all that crowded today (which is fine with me) and we had our sixth consecutive day of outstanding weather, albeit with a wind that prevented my reading the papers at the beach. Tonight we go to The Blue Pig and our daughter and grandchildren will then head back to New York. Both girls ran into the ocean this year a little ways, so we’re quite pleased with their carrying on five generations of family tradition at the Jersey Shore.

I won the second highest award at the arcade playing “Deal or No Deal,” 200 tickets!

I have moved up from whack-a-mole to whack-a-gator, having to push an 8-year-old amateur out of the way.

Here’s what I’ve learned on this summer vacation:

• Sea gulls are attracted by packaging. They can tell food by the container or bag, and pursue the opportunity. Tell me again why consultants can’t find buyers?
• If you can fit more than six letters on the rear of your pants and I can read them at 20 yards, you shouldn’t be wearing messages on your rear end.
• I can recognize already the 14-year-old girls who will become prom queens, fall in with the wrong crowd, marry big men on campus, and ruin their lives.
• It’s ostensibly for the kids, but the truth is that adults just love to dig huge holes on the beach.
• Dolphins play great games, especially when they leap in the wakes of passing boats.
• The most depressing people I see are the guys with metal detectors out on the beach at 6 am.
• A beach house from which you have to drive a mile and park to get to the beach is not a “beach house.”
• I spend 7-8 hours on the beach each day, of which 15 minutes are on the phone and 20 minutes on email. I will make over $60,000 this week doing that. Why is it that people are so inflexible that they can’t return a phone call or an email if they’re on vacation?!