Phrases That Are Fingernails on Blackboards

Phrases That Are Fingernails on Blackboards

Phrases that have become fingernails on blackboards*

 

(* Blackboard: A primitive writing surface requiring chalk and erasers with no digital component or wireless interface. It’s progeny was the Etch-a-Sketch.)

 

• Resonate. I don’t really care if something resonates with you. Do you like it or not?

 

• In this space. You’re a consultant in the non-manufacturing attrition space? How about if you make space for someone who speaks the language correctly?

 

• Reaching out. What do you mean you’re reaching out to them? Are you calling them or not? The zombies in “The Walking Dead” reach out.

 

• Like. It no longer means to find something or someone gratifying, but rather it’s an award of reciprocal banality, as in “please like my post.” You don’t have to read it to like it, you just have to click on a link.

 

• Final destination. Note to flight attendants: a destination IS final.

 

• A training. “I’m out on Tuesday doing a training.” “Really, well, I’ll be doing a washing, then a walking, then a shopping, and finally a drinking.”

 

• Reboot, as in “reboot your thinking.” Can I tell you where to put that boot?

 

• 360, as in “360-degree assessment.” A true 360-degree turn puts you right back on the track you were on before the coach showed up and you paid her all that money.

 

• “Cool.” People are still saying “cool.” That’s very uncool.

 

• We’ve noticed that your SEO ranking is low and you are not getting the traffic that your site deserves. Right, and you’re so successful you have to resort to spamming to try to pick up loose change.

 

© Alan Weiss 2014