Self Mastery
I’ve been putting up some photos of our vacation and granddaughters on Facebook, and I’ve been, I admit, addicted to a quick scan of all these people who’ve befriended me (I ask no one to be my friend, but I accept anyone who asks). The shear numbers of people posting dopey aphorisms (“If you’re not genuine you don’t know what genuine is, so I can’t be genuine with you”), self-applause (“Just got a 100% score on my test for couch yoga coach”), and over-compensated announcements (“How much more can I proclaim my love on our 8th anniversary?”) are amazing.
Why is this? I think because people are needy. They need to broadcast their (often looney and usually always polarized) political beliefs. They need to share with the world what they can’t merely be content with intimately. They need to garner applause (“please like me”) because its absence is a deafening condemnation to them. And then some of them simply have no life—that is, they don’t have pursuits that captivate them, don’t have relationships that comfort them, don’t have a broad range of interests beyond this vanity publishing cocktail party.
YES, I’m being overly harsh, and there are fine people on Facebook, yada yada yada. But I’d point out, in terms of self-mastery and the ability to know who you are, when you’re performing well and not performing well, and being comfortable in your own skin, you need to “own” your life. You can’t be reliant on sanction by others. You can’t use external metrics to keep you afloat. You have to know how to swim yourself.
By all means, put up another “glam shot” and have the same 32 people “like” you. But the beauty has to be on the inside, always visible to you.
© Alan Weiss 2013
