The Red Family

The Red Family

You know the story about “wearing the other person’s shoes? Supposedly, that enables you to understand their position (or maybe their feet). There’s a corollary that says if you’ve insulted or wronged someone, put on their shoes the next morning and move a mile away. When they awake, you’ll be long gone and they won’t have any shoes.

Here’s a more meaningful approach to understand others’ perspectives: Think about their position, background, and traits. Ask yourself how that may create perceptions different from your own. On the assumption that you want to help or influence them, try to be empathetic, feeling what they’re feeling. People tend to act in their own self-interests (as do you).

My wife sees colors differently than I do, because women have more rods and cones in their eyes. I’ve created something called “the red family” so that we don’t argue any more about whether something is red, rose, fuchsia, or pink. This saves a great deal of confusion (and arguing). “We’re going to that house over there that’s in the red family.” “I need a shirt in the red family.”