Victimology

June 9, 2008

I can guarantee you one resounding success: If you insist on being a victim, you will be one.

I’ve written of varying instances of this phenomenon:
• The woman in a wheelchair who deliberately did not announce her presence behind me as I had to move backward, so that she could chastise me for treating her as if she weren’t there (anybody else would have said, “Excuse me, I’m right behind you”).
• The African-American parents in an uproar because an administrator at a school has used the word “niggardly” (definition: very reluctant to spend money) and they took it as a slur. They actually had him fired until someone with common sense reversed the decision and opted for, well, education instead.
• An executive director who was appalled that I asked to stop the histrionics (definition: exaggerated behavior, especially in artistic works) when she interpreted it as my calling her “hysterical,” which in turn she interpreted as sexism.
• Those who want to discard “top ten” lists of performance, and valedictories, and “most valuable player,” and related honors because they or their kids “don’t have an equal chance to attain it,” or these awards damage self-esteem.

We see victims every day. Most recently a postal clerk was complaining loud and long about her boss. Her reaction was to do very little, not be of much help, and simply collect her check. I have a better idea: Either make amends with your boss and adapt a happy attitude, or change your job.

Now we have a writer to the blog, here, who takes the adjective “hysterical” which I used for her comments, meaning “funny,” (She claims that the “greatest minds of the 21st Century visit her blog—don’t you think that’s funny?!), and she has interpreted it as my calling her “hysterical” and there we are right back to the sexism victimization.

Recently, Hillary Clinton cited the “18 million cracks in the glass ceiling,” she had created, and made it clear that sexism played a role in her demise. I have a different take. She fought hard and long, but made too many mistakes that had nothing to do with gender, and had too much baggage that had nothing to do with gender, and simply wasn’t good enough to win. I really think she actually knows that, but I’m concerned about the victimization license being issued to her supporters.

Sometimes, you’re just not fast enough to win the race, or strong enough to win the fight. It’s happened to all of us, and will again, I imagine.

If you want to succeed in consulting, or as an entrepreneur in general, don’t case yourself as a woebegone victim of the winds, tides, fates, and vicissitudes of life. We’re not plankton, for goodness sake, and I mean no disrespect to plankton or other pelagic creatures.

Take the wheel, steer the ship, and navigate the course. Use the winds and tides to your advantage.

If you intend, on the other hand, to be a victim, I’m sure you’ll succeed. It’s just that few of us will find you very appealing or interesting.