Why Is It That….

Why Is It That….

• The companies that tell you by automated voice, “Listen carefully, our options have changed,” don’t understand that we understand that they just don’t want us to try to get at a human being too soon in the process?
• We can not recall a tune we heard a short time ago when other tunes have intervened?
• It takes two weeks or worse for a client to pay an invoice in an electronic world?
• The bank can debit your account immediately, but can’t credit it immediately?
• The people introducing you at a speech more often than not think that it’s about them, and that they should be funny and witty and the center of attention?
• So many people who deliberately seek positions dealing with the public (gate agents, call center operators, postal clerks) hate dealing with the public?
• Calls to companies “may be recorded for training purposes” but, despite that, the service never, ever improves?
• It’s now permissible to treat everyone as a criminal first, and inquire later, as in banks requiring that customers remove hats and sunglasses upon entering?
• So many people are surprised about the continuing demise of General Motors, when it hasn’t had outstanding leadership, hasn’t produced exciting mainstream models, hasn’t produced excellent customer service, and has provided excessive union and executive benefits for most of the last couple of decades?
• If the U.S were serious about increasing voter turnout, it doesn’t make election day a national, paid holiday?
• The same people complaining most vehemently about the economy are those spending six dollars for coffee and two dollars for bottled water?
• There are more polar bears today than ever before, unless they know more about handling global warming that we do?
• Anyone could be surprised at the popularity of Uno, the quite normal Beagle who won at Westminster, over the poof balls and high strung?
• Amidst the furor over steroids and needles and cheating and suspect performance breaking cherished records, Major League Baseball still can’t forgive Pete Rose and put him in the Hall of Fame?
• You can tune in to just the last three minutes of a professional basketball game and see all you have to see, the prior play being largely irrelevant?
• There is more zeal and organization around proving a conspiracy at the grassy knoll in Dallas, or that alien bodies are being kept in Roswell, or that an Ichthyosaur dwells in Loch Ness, than there is effort being addressed to improve inner city, public schools?
• Southern New England media portray each winter snow storm as an unprecedented, alarming, newsworthy event?
• People can master the intricacies of a cell phone or navigational system, but not a left-turn signal?
• Jay Leno was funnier during the writers’ strike?
• No one is falling down laughing outside of theaters where Sylvester Stallone is on screen at 61 portraying a one-man army?
• Accountants and lawyers, whom we are paying, feel no need to adapt to our language (“The class of action, on an accrual basis, could be considered an estoppel, unless we file 1740rs, which requires collateral support ex post facto”)?
• Both Henry VIII and Richard III don’t seem so bizarre when viewed in contemporary political terms?
• I firmly believe that expiration dates are merely intended to prompt you to buy more product before you actually need to?
• We enable the worst behaviors around us by passively accepting them and complaining irrelevantly later or just absorbing the stress?
• Given everything, most people aren’t happier?

© Alan Weiss 2008. All rights reserved.