Why You Don’t Want to Trod Them Hot Coals
Courtesy of David Lim and reported by Agence France Presse:
July 3, 2009
Think positive? Think again
WASHINGTON – REPEATING positive statements such as ‘I am a lovable person’
or ‘I will succeed’ makes some people feel worse about themselves instead of
raising their self-esteem, a study showed on Thursday.
‘From at least as far back as Norman Vincent Peale’s (1952) ‘The Power of
Positive Thinking,’ the media have advocated saying favourable things to
oneself,’ said the study by Canadian psychologists, which was published in
‘Psychological Science.’
It cites a popular self-help magazine that advises its readers to: ‘Try
chanting: I’m powerful, I’m strong, and nothing in this world can stop me,’
but says the practice doesn’t work for everyone.
Positive self-statements make people who are already down on themselves feel
worse rather than better, found the study conducted by psychologists Joanne
Wood and John Lee of the University of Waterloo and Elaine Perunovic of the
University of New Brunswick.
For the study, the psychologists asked people with low self-esteem and
people with high self-esteem to repeat the phrase: ‘I am a lovable person,’
and then measured participants’ moods and feelings about themselves.
What they found is that individuals who started out with low self-esteem
felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement.
‘I think that what happens is that when a low self-esteem person repeats
positive thoughts, they probably have contradictory thoughts,’ Ms Wood told
AFP.
‘So, if they’re saying ‘I’m a lovable person,’ they might be thinking,
‘Well, I’m not always lovable’ or ‘I’m not lovable in this way,’ and these
contradictory thoughts may overwhelm the positive thoughts,’ she said.
Although positive thinking does appear to be effective when it’s part of a
broader programme of therapy, on its own it tends to have the reverse effect
of what it is supposed to do, said Ms Wood, urging self-help books,
magazines and TV shows to stop sending a message that just chanting a
positive mantra will raise self-esteem.
‘It’s frustrating to people when they try it and it doesn’t work for them,’
Ms Wood told AFP. — AFP
Alan Weiss
The article comments that positiveself- talk has to be part of a larger therapeutic intervention.
Moreover, Seligman (I’m not familiar with the other person) talks about how you refer to success and setbacks, e.g., not “I was lucky,” but “I deserved that, I worked hard.” That’s different from the mindless pseudo-coaches who tell you to simply insipidly repeat stupid “affirmations” as the article discusses.
michael cardus
I never really understood how walking over hot coals and telling yourself that you deserve success worked?
their is so much pseudo-science out there and people really convince themselves through “cited articles and peer reviewed journals” that these Human Created Constructs are true.
The reality of perception is a powerful system. If one has low self esteem (what does that mean?) I am not sure how repeating statements that someone told you would work can improve self esteem. Couldn’t that person again just be re-affirmed in their poor self-esteem and think “why did i not think of that, even these positive statement that I paid $1000’s of dollars to listen to can not help me.”
Alan Weiss
1. There are published reports of increases in psychologists’ bookings after these “hot coal” events after people find there is zero transfer and application to the real world.
2. Low self-esteem means that you do not feel worthy, and that you are subject to others’ assessments of you, or your most recent victory or defeat. You have very little resilience and treat setbacks as personal commentaries on your poor abilities. Victory is seen as luck, not talent.
3. Cheryl Richardson, the empty-headed coaching guru who Oprah promoted, once told me that if I wanted to host a radio talk show I should repeat three times every morning, “I will host a radio talk show.” This is the kind of arrant stupidity that’s out there. (Ms. Richardson had no formal advanced education when I knew her, and had her own publication name her “coach of the year”!)
Jim Bradford
I think it was Norman Vincent Peale who said, “You become what you think about most of the time.” But based on my own life’s experience I believe it is important not to think about oneself too much.
For me, it was teaching that saved me from total self-absorption (I’m a university professor reaching the end of my career). In my first years as a teacher my thoughts were all about myself. “How am I doing?” “Do my students respect me?”
Somewhere along the line my thoughts began to focus outside of myself. “How am I going to get Sally through this course?” “Why are Robert’s grades falling?”
If you ask me today if my self esteem is high or low, I don’t know. I hardly ever think about it anymore. I believe that positive affirmations can be a great tool but like most tools they have to used the right way. Affirmations that tend to reinforce too much self focus probably won’t do a lot of good in the long run.
…Jim B
Alan Weiss
I agree. I find the most successful sales people and consultants, for example, are concerned about improving the client’s condition, not about their quotas, their bonuses, or their bragging rights.
Rich Hopkins
I’ve always said “I know that self-talk works because I tell myself it doesn’t – and it never has”.
Repeating positive affirmations is fine if you don’t have competing critics in your head. If you don’t choose to listen to yourself, it won’t matter what you say.
Alan Weiss
Clever line. But no matter what you tell yourself, if you lack the skills, behaviors, and/or self-esteem, you’re not going to be successful at it. Telling me you’re a great speaker means nothing if you don’t have a good topic, can’t use notes, and have a dry mouth. Affirmations are simply dumb, used by the motivational society in lieu of actual methodology and pragmatic help. “They can knock you down but they can’t knock you out!”
Yes they can, they can kill you. The idea is not to get hit!
Wayne Botha
Affirmations are a good starting point and a useful guide along the path to a goal. You also need to take action and live in the real world to achieve your goal. Affirmations without actions are pointless.
Respecting this blog, I will keep my examples brief. I have used affirmations with some success over the past 20 years. Affirmations got me through University Accounting courses, although “I love accounting” has lasted 🙂
Success story: When I decided to relocate to the USA in mid-1990’s, I used affirmations with intense emotions. I saw myself driving over the Verrazano Narrows bridge. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it. Then I spoke with people who had relocated to the USA, searched the Internet for skills that were in demand, acquired the skills, contacted companies who could sponsor my work visa, interviewed, followed up, got rejected, researched our new country and just kept at it until we landed at JFK in January 2001.
Use affirmations to solidify your desired outcomes in your mind. Then get to work and put in the other 99% of effort required to reach your goal.
Trina Hess
Yes!! Just like the book by Julie K. Norem “The Positive Power of Negative Thinking.” this positive self-talk can affect half the people all the time, but the other half NEED to see the worst case scenario to work through the anxiety. The enemy here isn’t negativity–the enemy is anxiety, and people either use positivity or negativity to rid themselves of this anxiety. Great article thanks!!
Skannie
Barbara Sher has been saying the same thing for decades. Positive thinking doesn’t usually work. She actually wrote a chapter about the Power of Negative Thinking in her first book Wishcraft, which had it’s 30th anniversary in March this year.
Alan Weiss
Wayne, all due respect, I don’t believe any self-respecting, professional coach should be teaching others “affirmations” to effect change. Perhaps you automatically create pragmatics for implementation, or affirmations keep your eyes on the goal, but of themselves, they’re not very useful. In fact, they fool people that they’re taking action without doing any hard work, like changing behavior.
Trina and Skannie: I was fired by W. Clement Stone who was engrossed in PMA–Positive Mental Attitude–which he tried to sell, market, and inculcate. (“This is a great morning!!”) I told him that HE had a positive mental attitude because he had $450 million from his insurance business, and that if he gave everyone $450 million, they’d ALL have positive mental attitudes. That’s when he fired me.
Trina Hess
Trying to fit ANY one-size-fits-all solution isn’t good for anyone: Atkins isn’t the best diet for everyone. Running isn’t the perfect exercise for every person. Likewise, telling everyone that it’s the best (or worst) thing to “Look on the bright side”. It’s more important to tell people how to find out WHAT will work for them, individually. But that stance doesn’t sell as many books.
Alan Weiss
If you get a chance, check out Gilbert’s work on synthetic happiness. You can find it on TED.