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There have always been people who blame others, or the system, or the fates, for their lack of success. However, the internet has allowed them to seek others who believe the world is against them as well, and find validation for their refusal to take personal accountability and therefore effective corrective actions.

I've always asked myself, and now advise coaching clients, “Has anyone, anywhere, remotely like you, effectively achieved what you want to achieve? If not (flap your arms and fly, or consistently play sub-70 golf), then abandon the expectation. But if so (publish a book, play the piano, start your own business), then don't try to emulate them but do try to identify the behaviors and traits that accounted for their success, and learn how to utilize them yourself.”

So long as something is someone else's fault and not yours, you'll never be able got truly fix it, in your mind or in fact.

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Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

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