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Twelve Failings That Kill Consultants (And Most Others)

Twelve Failings That Kill Consultants (And Most Others)

• Failing to return a legitimate email request within a day. NO ONE is so busy that they can’t return email messages in a day, unless you are allowing all kinds of spam to intrude or are spending all your time on “social medial platforms.”

• Neglecting to establish a future time and date certain. “Let’s make it Tuesday at three, I’ll call you on your private line,” is not a hard language to learn, like Mandarin or Tagalog. Throwing away momentum with “Let’s talk again soon,” or “I’ll wait to hear from you” is simply slovenly.

• Dealing with people who are easy to see but can’t buy, and rationalizing why it’s okay to do that. Virtually no one in training or HR can approve a major project. At best, they have limited “event” budgets or are intermediaries. And they tend to be rude and obnoxious, which is why they’re in HR.

• Consistently making grammatical and punctuation mistakes that reveal the writer is an amateur. In modern printing, only one space is skipped between sentences, not two (which is a throwback to typewriter days). Commas and periods go within quotation marks at the end of the sentence, no exceptions. If you can’t learn to correct poor writing at your age, why should anyone expect you can consult well?

• Procrastination, especially with prospects. There is not reason in the world—no reason—why you can’t turn around a proposal after a meeting within 48 hours.

• A pecuniary mental set, that impels one to use mail instead of Fedex, a raspy old phone instead of a modern model, and to question whether it’s worth spending money to travel to see a legitimate buyer. No one ever made a million in revenue by cutting costs, and you can take THAT to the bank!

• Hanging out with blowhards and bloviators. The people giving the loudest, most inflexible, most complex advice are almost always people who aren’t successful but just claim to be. (Hint: Take a look at their clothing. The sign of a successful person is expensive, well-tailored casual clothes and accessories.)

• CFO: Creating False Overhead. Unless you are running a several million dollar practice, you don’t need a virtual assistant, advisory board, full-time bookkeeper, sales and marketing assistant, or general factotum. Having a staff doesn’t create a consulting practice. It creates a welfare state.

• Spending more than 30 minutes a day on social media sites. I don’t care about those people who claim they landed a $50,000 “deal” on Plexico or Faceup, and I care much less about the “marketing experts” whose source of income is, gee, telling you how to market on social media. (But what have they DONE?). If you’re selling to a corporate buyer you are not going to make a living doing so on Chainedin, but you will be able to spend a lot of time there avoiding things like networking at events, publishing in the trade press, and speaking at conferences.

• Being afraid to ask for repeat business, referrals, references, and testimonials. If you’re working with a true buyer and doing good work, and you’ve prepared that buyer, there’s no reason in the world not to ask for that person’s continuing good will. In our business, that good will is best expressed through referrals (ever send someone to your doctor or accountant?). If you don’t ask, you seldom get. (Or at least you miss out on a lot you should have received.)

• Not establishing a support system. Your spouse, significant other, extended family, close colleagues, friends, or whomever should be assembled into a support unit, so that you know when you’ve done well, you receive candid, solicited feedback when you could have done better, and you have people with whom you can commiserate. Otherwise, unsolicited (usually worthless) feedback will have far too great an influence on you.

• Carrying around too much of others’ baggage and not creating your own. Consultants often have strikingly low self-worth. You can’t live without baggage (we all need clothes and “stuff”) but it should be baggage you create with clothes that fit you today and stuff you can really use tomorrow. I’m weary of consultants lamenting, “Why should they listen to ME?” If you feel that way, then I don’t know why they should listen to you, because I’m getting tired of listening to you. If you don’t think you’re good and act that way, why would I ever be interested in hiring you? The first sale is to yourself. If you can’t make that one, you’re in the wrong business.

© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.

Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

Comments: 48

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    May 7, 2010

    Just to be “contrarian to the contrarian”, how about these 12 fatal flaws:

    1. Worrying so much about getting back to all your clients that you never take a full day off, let alone a week.
    2. Pushing to schedule a follow-up time with prospects that are clearly uninterested, unqualified, or too busy to talk
    3. Being irritating and insulting to gatekeepers in HR and other administrative roles, so they never get to the real decision-makers
    4. Compulsively correcting other people’s minor failings (even their own clients minor punctuation mistakes), while neglecting the big issues they were brought in to solve.
    4. See #1
    5. Spending money on lavish gifts, top-rank accommodations and tools that make their own clients feel poor, stingy and underpaid — rubbing their high consulting fees in the face of staffers

    You get the idea. #7 is kind of a good contrarian argument to #5, if you think about it! 🙂

    I really like the article, but I think you can go too far with any of the recommendations that you list in the article too.

    You have been and always will be one of my role models. I just felt a little playful this Friday. Thanks for the fun.

    –Alex

  • Pat Ferdinandi

    May 7, 2010

    You really made me laugh on #4. My sister (a retired English Teacher) just finished correcting all my grammar in a 290pg document to put the . outside the quotes. LOL Can’t wait to show her your article! Don’t you just love family feuds (as long as they are friendly).

  • Steven B. Levy, Author of Legal Project Management: Control Costs, Meet Schedules, Manage Risks, and Maintain Sanity

    May 7, 2010

    While I agree with many of these points, it is no longer true that “clothes make the man.” (By the way, the source of that line, Polonius in Hamlet, is a world-class bloviator himself.) At least in the Pacific Northwest, you can distinguish neither wealth nor success from a person’s casual clothes. Maybe it’s saying, “I’m successful enough, and confident enough, that I need prove nothing to random strangers.”

  • Alan Weiss

    May 7, 2010

    Clothes don’t make the man, but if you’re really doing well, you don’t take out a 24 cent pen to take notes, sorry. I realize the Pacific Northwest is THE trendsetter for the country, but I tend to take exception.

    Alex, If ind your comments slightly irritating, not satirical nor contrarian. You misread and exaggerate my points. I work 20 hours a week and take a vacation a month, just about, and still get back to everyone in a timely fashion. I have no patience for HR and gatekeepers who block you, and if they don’t like it, too bad, I have value to provide. I’m not compulsive, I have standards.

    You need to work on your satire. It’s weak. Perhaps it would work in the Pacific Northwest, where they’re setting the standards these days! You’d better prove something to those who can help you, if not random strangers.

  • Arun

    May 8, 2010

    Wonderful article. I do agree that spending more than 30 minutes on social media platforms without any reason is a criminal waste of time. I re-read this article few times so that I can put them into practice right away

  • Graham Franklinj

    May 8, 2010

    I agree with Alan. If you do not look successful why should I believe that you can me and my organisation become more successful? It may work in the North West of the USA try that in Europe?

  • @ClaudiuRestea

    May 8, 2010

    Great points, Alan! One thing I would add is to stay up to date technologically. Some take it for granted, some ridicule it. If it worked with the 3″ clear ruler and a blank piece of paper back in the days, it doesn’t mean it will today.

  • Alan Weiss

    May 8, 2010

    Bear in mind, also, that there’s a matter of respect for the people with whom you’re dealing. If you want to influence me or get my support, and you don’t think enough to dress respectfully for our meeting, I’m starting off unimpressed, I don’t care how chic it is to dress in raggedy jeans where you live.

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    May 8, 2010

    Thanks for the feedback, Alan. I will keep reading your articles, and keep working on my satire. My apologies for any irritation, it was all meant in fun.

    –Alex

  • Michael Ellis

    May 8, 2010

    Whoa. Alan’s response sounds disproportionately harsh to my ears, especially when Alex brought up some legitimate points in a light-hearted way.

    I’m a big fan of Alan’s writings, but regular readers of his blog should know that he exhibits a limited sense of humor about his own work. So, I learn from his advice but ignore his self-aggrandizing statements and off-tone bragging.

    Just my $0.02. I expect I’m in for a tongue lashing from the master!

  • Alan Weiss

    May 8, 2010

    Alex, keep contributing, work on the satire, and I’ll work on trying to grok it better!

    No tongue lashing, but you ought to learn, Michael, not to be so damn judgmental. If I were really that way, I’d simply delete your comments. Judgment is fine, judgmental, ad hominem attacks such as yours, are not. You ought to rethink what you write before publicly insulting anyone. Do you really think I’d be where I am, with a huge global community and people seeking to work with me, if I were a vain braggart?

  • Joseph

    May 8, 2010

    All points are good Alan. But the one that made me think in the first read itself is this: The first sale is to yourself. If you can’t make that one, you’re in the wrong business.

  • Pat Ferdinandi

    May 8, 2010

    I was thinking about your comment “Carrying around too much of others’ baggage and not creating your own.”

    Using you as an example for specificity only…

    What about ReTweeting Alan’s brillian tweets? Is this carrying others’ baggage?

    If Alan’s tweets or FB link concurs with one of your followers thinking and believes the tweet/FB (to one of your blogs/articles) is beneficial to people that follow them and do not (shame on them) follow Alan? Is this carrying other’s baggage?

    To quote Alan (with a link) in a blog post or in a discussion on Chainedin…is this viewed negatively as carrying other’s baggage?

    Or…did I misunderstand the concept you are conveying completely?

  • Alan Weiss

    May 8, 2010

    I think you’re confused, Pat. To carry around baggage means to be burdened with others’ opinions of you, limitations imposed upon you, and so forth. It’s not about quoting someone else, it’s about being limited by what others told you that is not true or need not be true.

  • Dave Gardner

    May 8, 2010

    Michael…The top consultants in the world learn from Alan every day. Alan is not here to “be your friend”–he’s here to make you think, grow and help you benefit from a perspective you may not have. Alan has achieved success that no other solo consultant can claim. I am constantly amazed at how much value he delivers to his community. It is perfectly acceptable to disagree with Alan, but, you look really foolish when you attack him personally.

  • Sally Wright

    May 8, 2010

    What Dave Gardner said. In spades. What I see Alan doing is making a point using a concrete example from his own life. It would never occur to me to term it “offtone bragging” because its purpose is to teach, not self-aggrandize.
    Two VERY different motivations…

  • Pat Ferdinandi

    May 8, 2010

    Phew! Thank you Alan for the clarification.

  • Michael Ellis

    May 8, 2010

    I am not worthy. My apologies for any irritation.

  • John Dillard

    May 9, 2010

    Alan,

    Nice post. I’m an owner of a small (~$3M consulting firm with a few employees. Most of this is spot on. The only think that kept me from immediately forwarding it to my staff is the criticism of social media.

    I do agree (particularly in the PR community) that you can spend way too much time and money on that stuff. However, it’s just a channel that may or may not be appropriate to use, depending on the situation. My firm does use it a good bit to research, establish and maintain contact with both prospects and with potential recruits, and it’s very effective when coupled with traditional techniques.

    The way you quite openly mock it reminds me of a professor I once heard in graduate school who told a class “not to use the internet for our research because we should be spending more time at the library.” To his credit, he didn’t want us wasting our time, but he really didn’t fully understand that the medium was just a medium.

    If I can locate and target prospects effectively in LinkedIn, why not do so if it may be faster than doing so at an event? Or better yet, why wouldn’t I do research on LinkedIn on a possible attendee at an event I will be attending, so that when I meet him in person I know a) where he has worked b) what he looks like c) what his career interests are and d) who we may know in common?

    I love the work, but I think that in time “social media” won’t really be something that we distinguish from normal networking activity — any more than the telephone or eMail.

  • Alan Weiss

    May 9, 2010

    John, thanks for writing.

    1. Note that I say consistently if your buyer is a corporate executive, you’re wasting your time trying to reach him or her on social media. Everyone ignores my qualifier, because of the cult-like adherence to social media.
    2. According to the New York Times just today, many people are lowering their social media profiles because “they want to be taken more seriously” and because of privacy concerns.
    3. I use social media every day. I never buy the dumb argument that if I critique something I don’t understand it or am old fashioned. “You’re out of touch” or “you’re too old” are phrases flung around by those who can’t debate intellectually. I assume that’s not you.
    4. Unlike the phone, MOST social media is simply noise, and LIKE email, there is a great deal of junk. The obscenities routinely seen on YouTube and the banal “information” people provide about their lives on linked in and Facebook is testimony to the low level of exchange.
    5. If something works for you directly with customers, great. You can’t send my stuff to your employees because of one point—Are you afraid they may agree with me?!

    Seriously, appreciate your interest in my work!

  • David

    May 11, 2010

    Hi Alan,
    I have recently began reading one of your books, in it you talk down the need for social networking and mention LinkedIn as one to avoid. Again in this article you write the same thing..

    Yet I notice you have a busy, regularly updated, LinkedIn page. Is this not hypocritical? I’d like to understand why you downplay the site yet use it yourself.

  • Alan Weiss

    May 11, 2010

    Fair question, David!

    I don’t believe you can critique something “from the outside.” I want to be open to evidence that I’m wrong, things have changed, and so on. I also don’t want to be accused of being “out of touch.” I’m a Mensa member because I think Mensa is a fraud, in terms of what it claims. (I’ve seldom met so many stupid, self-aggrandizing people in one place.)

    I find blogging to be useful IF you have a brand; I find Twitter to be useful to get intellectual property in front of people virally without telling them I’m on the way to the shower (and I follow no one); I find Facebook and linked in to be basically time dumps, and their usage is actually falling off in terms of drop outs.

    So, I’m not hypocritical, I’m standing in the river fishing for trout to let you know whether the fishing is any good and whether the trout are large enough. And I’m watching the other fishermen, too…. But I find fishing to be boring.

  • Pat Ferdinandi

    May 11, 2010

    I have learned a great deal from social networks. The key is for me was balance. If you get, give and you will build bonds.

    LinkedIn has some active groups with interesting discussions. You can learn a great deal from them. You can also reply or start your own discussions. My result was getting to know several people in my field. Yes, you do see a lot of self-aggrandizing. You can choose to ignore them and avoid them (especially when the send you a private note criticizing your responses).

    I’ve also found Twitter to be very useful. Mostly from the people from the discussions groups that moved to twitter. I now follow some of the people they follow because their tweets have provided VALUE. Good posts are tweeted. Some micro dicussions occured. All educational.

    Facebook, I admit, is more for social with existing friends. Though I try to help promote those people I believe add value (heck, how I found this post was through facebook), most of my interactions are with people I know and want to know how they are doing (nieces, nephews).

    I belong to one private network that has been extremely helpful. I’m the fish out of the water. It stresses marketing. I can not tell you how much help I’ve received over the two years. I’ve returned the favor by providing an outsiders perspective.

    Water is interesting. It holds the form of the container…any container. Social networks are similar. YOU control the amount of time, what you get and what you give.

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    May 11, 2010

    Since my satire did not work so well, I will try a serious comment:

    I was talking to a friend of mine about our businesses, and mentioned Alan’s comment about social networking. Her clients are exclusively senior executives in the Silicon Valley area, and she agrees with Alan’s statement 100%. Even in Silicon Valley, the senior executives are not using social networking.

    This view matches my own experience, too. I get a lot of value from social networking, but I was only able to connect with buyers there when I started offering projects for middle-management (project management courses, advisory services, and other lower-cost products and services). I find that project managers and department heads are actively reading and contributing to forums on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook. Some small-company executives are there, too (under $10 million a year in revenue).

    Bigger company executives do not seem to be reachable by social networking. That may change, but my friend in Silicon Valley usually sees these trends a few years before the rest of the country. Even in her high-tech practice, she relies on referrals, e-mail and phone to reach her target market.

    I do not have any statistical studies or surveys to back up these views. I trust my own and my friends’ real-life experiences more than any survey, and those experiences tell me that Fortune 500 executives are not using social media very much.

    Your comment about the fishing is spot on — even in Silicon Valley, you catch the smaller fish in social media waters. If you want the big fish, you need to cast you line elsewhere.

    Great points, Alan.

  • Alan Weiss

    May 11, 2010

    Pat, I’d agree that you get out what you put in, but for most people social platforms offer diminishing business returns.

    Alex, agree completely with you and your friend. My focus is helping consultants gain corporate work. Corporate executives (I don’t deal with low level people) use referrals and thought leadership to guide them to sources.

    I’d have to wonder how good someone is who thinks they can promote a corporate consulting business on Facebook or linkedin. They are clueless. And the “cult” response (you’re too old, you’re don’t know technology, everyone will use this in the next year) is the mantra of the people who want easy solutions instead of hard work. I’m actively on these platforms, have more Twitter followers than 95% of the users, have substantial linkedin and Facebook connections, and a multi-media blog.

    I am a thought leader, but I can’t lead those who are so enamored with their own reflection that they can’t follow!

  • Pat Ferdinandi

    May 11, 2010

    I agree with you Alan that corporate executives (the focus of your advice) are not using social networks.

    Do they hang out anywhere? I’ve noticed even networking and business events are dwindling with prospects but increasing in people looking for sales or work (granted, I may have not found the right organization…yet).

    Alan, have you found this to be true? Have you seen a demographic difference in terms of age or size of company as far as executives participating in these events?

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    May 11, 2010

    You can find executives in some areas, but often they prefer to go someplace “exclusive” — in other words “expensive”.

    MIT, for instance, has some executive MBA programs, with in-person weekend sessions or week-long sessions, designed to be crammed into a busy executive schedule. These classes cost many times more than similar offerings targeted towards people like you and me, but from what I have heard, they really do attract CEOs, CFOs, COOs, and other senior executives.

    You may also find the executives in the association that matches their industry. For instance, if I want to talk to the CEO of a project management training provider or consultancy, I go to Project Management Institute. The board of PMI includes many people who run companies that serve project managers. Not all industries have a professional association with active executives, though.

    Some industries even have “societies of executives”, like the ASAE (American Society of Association Executives) or Vistage for mid-sized businesses. These societies often work hard to prevent people who serve these executives from getting access to the membership. Executives are hounded constantly by people who want to sell them something, so a society of executives needs to have some barriers to avoid ruining the group by letting in too many service providers.

    It is a difficult demographic to reach, and I do not pretend to have all the answers. I would love to hear thoughts from other folks about techniques that work.

    I think about “hunting them” more than “fishing for them”. I try to network my way to a specific individual with a specific proposal for their company. Alan probably has more success with the “fishing” approach, but he has a better boat and better lures than I do. 🙂

  • Alan Weiss

    May 11, 2010

    Certain associations draw them: The American Council of Life Insurance, for example, hosts an annual convention of 250 CEOs and COOs of member companies.

    The most important thing is to draw them to you through a body of work, strong brand, and thought leadership.

  • Adam J Fein

    May 19, 2010

    I realize I’m late to this conversation, but Alan’s last comment reinforces the #1 most important lesson that I have learned from him over the years: Market Gravity.

    When a potential buyer calls me, then the sales dynamic is completely different. LinkedIn seems like nothing more than cold calls, which are a waste of time. I have a LinkedIn account b/c it’s the thing to do, but I spend almost no effort on it after the initial set-up.

    I have personally found value in using social media (mainly my blog) as one more way to build my brand, stay in front of people, and create more market gravity. My clients all read my blog and tell their employees to do so, too. My retainer clients also know they can call me for the “inside scoop” on a blog post or for insights about their own business.

    Many reporters covering my area of expertise also read my blog and call me to ask questions, which then gets me quoted in the national media. Again, just one more element in the market gravity mix.

    The most dangerous words in the English language: This Time Is Different. The million-dollar consulting rules haven’t changed; we just have new and better tools!

    Adam

  • Alan Weiss

    May 19, 2010

    You’re never too late for commentary here!

    I’ve found it useful to separate blogging from social media platforms. I think they are two almost entirely different things.

  • Adam J Fein

    May 19, 2010

    I agree, although many people equate the two.

    That said, my blog posts are automatically posted to LinkedIn and Tweeted, but that’s just blowing my own horn. I recall someone telling me to do so or there would be no music…

  • Damon

    June 17, 2010

    Living in the Pacific Northwest… I appreciate it when someone dresses well. I always do, and it’s why I stand out. I changed banks because the tellers (even the women!) wore polo shirts and khakis. Thank you.

  • Alan Weiss

    June 17, 2010

    Most people are more comfortable in business settings with people who are dressed well and groomed well. Frankly, I don’t like dealing with a restaurant server with visible tattoos and piercings.

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    June 17, 2010

    My parody did not go over well before, but I am still feeling playful, so here goes another attempt…

    Marketing gurus tell me to test everything and to never make the miistake of assuming that my peferences are my client’s preferences. So I wonder if we really have solid data to support the assertion that “most people feel more comfortable…groomed well.” As students of marketing, I know not to trust my own comfort or discomfort with tattoos and piercings as a way to predict client reactions.

    I wonder what would happen in a real test. Pitch the same proposal in clothing that
    1. Matched the decision makers
    2. Was one or more cuts “above” the decision makers
    3. Was one or more levels less formal than the decision makers

    Of course, to run a good marketing test, we need to keep the pitch identical, and test a variety of decision-maker profiles.

    I wonder if well-dressed always means more comfort. Perhaps it is just more comfortable for the person giving the pitch!

    It can be easier for some people to sell if they are dressed more formally. It can create an air of superiority and distance, which could help people be more direct and assertive.

    If anyone knows of a study or test like the one I am suggesting, I would love to know the results. I would bet that it is possible to be too formal and polished, and to make buyers uncomfortable that way too. I have been on executive committees where people said that a bidder seemed too stiff, formal, or “big” to do the job. Maybe their shoes were too shiny and their suits too expensive? Who knows…

  • Alan Weiss

    June 17, 2010

    My “test” goes back over 25 years, and you are free to conduct your own. That’s a long response you have to a very simple issue.

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    June 17, 2010

    Yeah, but your “test” did not include a control group. As far as I know you have never had tattoos or piercings! 🙂

    I will leave it to someone with more courage than I have to conduct a proper test of this marketing idea.

    And yes, I do tend to take small things and turn them into long discussions. It’s part of who I am.

  • Alan Weiss

    June 17, 2010

    That’s unfortunate!

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    June 17, 2010

    “Fortunate” or “unfortunate” are judgments — in the eye of the beholder. I believe our qualities are what we make of them. I choose to find ways to exploit my tendency to engage in long discussions, and fortunately my clients get to reap the benefits! 🙂

  • Jeffrey Summers

    June 17, 2010

    Well my “testing” goes back 28 years and I can tell you that guests in our restaurant & hotel clients businesses, who do not embrace the world of tattoos and body piercing do not want to in any social setting either. There’s a reason your server or front desk clerk is wearing long sleeves in the middle of summer and it’s not because Alan has the air conditioning turned on high.

  • Alan Weiss

    June 17, 2010

    Alex apparently thinks making an argument is the equivalent of intellectual debate. Some truths, as Jefferson pointed out, are self-evident….

  • Alex S. Brown, PMP IPMA-C

    June 29, 2010

    I am no fan of argument for argument’s sake. I think this is an interesting question.

    I did some field testing of my own in the past weeks, and found the following:
    -More than half of the people I talked to in their 20s and 30s have a tatoo somewhere
    -Some companies do have a policy against “visible ink” but at others it is commonplace to see employees with visible tatoos

    Some of the places where I saw visible tatoos were in hospitality and food service. Talking to some industry people who manage vacation properties, they said that it is extremely common to have tatoos on servers, lifeguards, cooks, and other people who interact with the public. In some beachfront resorts, they told me that they do not believe they would be able to recruit workers if they had a “no tatoo” policy, because they see them so often on people in their 20s and 30s. Tatoos that are offensive are a problem (hate-group symbols and gang markings), but they rarely see these.

    I think there is a generation-gap issue here. People’s comfort with different styles of dress vary quite a lot depending on context. The Fortune 500 board room certainly has a dress code, but those same executives may be comfortable seeing a lifeguard on vacation who has a tatoo and piercings. Smaller companies and start-ups have quite a range of dress codes, and some will say you “don’t fit in here” if you wear a tie.

    My apologies for flogging a dead horse here, but I think the “truth” is far from self-evident. I bet that a banker from the 1900s would be outraged at the suits and ties that people wear at Goldman Sachs today — too garish and colorful to be “professional”. There was a day where a proper black hat was absolutely required to be “dressed for business.” Times do change — pretty slowly, but they do change.

    Some post-boomers are running their own companies now, and I believe that some are setting new standards for workplace dress. I am still young in this field and prefer to keep open eyes and an open mind to see what my clients expect and want.

  • Alan Weiss

    June 29, 2010

    I don’t think you’re arguing for argument’s sake, and you raise very good points.

    Here’s my reaction: This is a rheostat, not an an/off switch. I have no trouble with pierced ears or someone with an ankle tattoo. But when my server has a pierced tongue or chin, and piercings are removable, that’s simply rude and unappetizing, as it would be if your nails were dirty or your hair in your face. Some things are self-evidently inappropriate, especially when obviously avoidable.

    Companies have to cater to their clients, no question. But if someone decides to put a tattoo on their body that extends around their neck or onto their hands that are serving my food, I find it repulsive, and a darned bad choice!

    You’re not going to get a great job with an interview that starts, “Whassup?” and you’re not going to be hired as an airline pilot with a pierced eyebrow you insist on exhibiting at work. Those are choices.

    I haven’t worn a suit and tie for longer than I can remember. We all adjust. The key is the extent to which you accommodate commonly acceptable good behavior.

  • Jennifer

    June 29, 2010

    Alan,

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but piercings in the tongue or chin are not easily removable, as the body instantly begins to heal itself and the hole begins to close. It’s not like piercing your ears.

    The rest of your life is going to clearly cause you more disgust and consternation, as social norms have changed. Darn kids, get off my lawn!

    Oh, and I’m over 40, have no tattoos or piercings (even ears — just not my style), but I would never discriminate against someone who didn’t look like me. It’s just bad business.

    Best regards,

    Jennifer

  • Alan Weiss

    June 29, 2010

    My bubbles are tough, despite aggressive and confrontative language. But it looks like I pierced a nerve.

    Believe it or not, I have a lot of young friends, many of whom have explained and demonstrated how they remove the piercings for family events, jobs, and even new dates. Maybe your friends are rusted shut, like some minds.

    I don’t discriminate against those who don’t look like me, but I point out what I find distasteful and rude. And most people who can’t deal with me intellectually call me arrogant or old, so join that club, with your value judgments and your sarcasm. They’re uglier than piercings.

  • Graham Franklin

    June 30, 2010

    Hay Ho

    A day without Alan’s blog is like a day without sunshine.

  • Alan Weiss

    June 30, 2010

    Nobody’s going to rain on my parade!

  • Jeffrey Summers

    June 30, 2010

    Reading Jennifer’s comment was a lot like watching those scary movies where the heroine is about to open THAT door. All the while the audience is yelling internally, “Don’t open the damn door stupid! You’ll die!” But they do anyway and we smirk and say, “I told you so!”

    P.S. I love a parade!

  • Alan Weiss

    June 30, 2010

    “I hate to burst your bubble” as an opener from someone you’ve never met and don’t know is a chip-on-the-shoulder, in your face insult. Then she improves it by stereotyping me. You wonder what kind of issues lurk there….

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