Disney Acquires Summit Consulting

Disney Acquires Summit Consulting

For Immediate Release

Summit Consulting Group Purchased by Walt Disney Company

In a surprise move, Alan Weiss’s Summit Consulting Group was purchased by the Walt Disney Company during a clandestine meeting held in Orlando, Florida this past week.

Disney spokesperson Linda Melinda said that the acquisition was in keeping with Disney’s quest to foster communities of ardent followers globally. She announced that Goofy, a veteran Disney actor and senior executive, would be assuming control of the Summit operation, replacing Mr. Weiss.

“We thought that it would make the most sense to have one imaginary character replace another,” announced Ms. Melinda. Bud E. (Buddy) Beagle, speaking on behalf of Summit, stated, “We look at this as one legendary figure taking the place of another.”

A sticking point arose when Mr. Koufax, a veteran performer and senior manager with Summit, became embroiled in a conflict with Pluto, the seemingly ageless Disney character actor. Mr. Koufax called Pluto, “A disgrace to the canine species,” and Mr. Pluto retorted that Mr. Koufax was merely a “pretty boy.” The matter was settled when Mr. Pluto was given exclusive control over canine animation, and Mr. Koufax was granted the right to remake Rin Tin Tin with a poodle love interest. When not in front of the cameras, Mr. Koufax will run all theme park counter-squirrel operations.

Mr. Beagle will retain his current position in the new operation as vice president of risk management and Pupperoni testing, and add to it a security badge as head of the elite force controlling buffet pilfering. He was last seen leading a squad of hounds into the largest of the cafeterias to “smell out the turf,” in his words.

Future technology needs of Summit will be handled by Disney Imagineering, led by Donald Duck, which beat out CB Software in a bid for all future work. CB Software president Chad Barr claimed there was fowl play in the bid procedure. Mr. Duck scoffed at the accusation, calling Mr. Barr “a quack.”

The deal was brokered by Mr. Goofy and Mr. Duck after the former attended a Master Mentor training program last winter which he completed in half the time of other Master Mentors.

Mr. Weiss has not announced definitive plans. He was last seen in the Magic Kingdom, where he was said to be helping Snow White find a hidden passageway in the castle, after having had all seven dwarfs arrested for loitering. Patrons are being diverted from the area.

© Alan Weiss 2011. All rights reserved.