In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking….

In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking….

• Self-absorbed people have no sense of humor because if they engaged in laughter it would take time away from talking about themselves.

• Apple succeeded in large part because Steve Jobs simply fired people who didn’t cooperate. Compare that to the silos and turf wars you find in so many businesses today.

• The absolute worst situation for a small business are relatives in key positions who aren’t performing. The owners can’t improve them and won’t fire them.

• If you’re wondering why firms can be so inept at offering products and services and supporting new initiatives, just look at the Republican Party at the moment in the U.S.

• Brands have to be consistently and continually supported. Cadillac, Sears, Yahoo have all lost their luster over the years. Disney is a shadow of its old image of quality and service.

• Rhode Island has a law requiring seat belts in cars but not helmets on motorcycle drivers. Please don’t tell me we’re packing a lot of talent in the legislature. (Where still another bozo lawmaker has had to give up his positions after, inebriated, threatening police if they didn’t cover up the DUI of a colleague. Do any of you still think “Boardwalk Empire” is fiction?)

• Looking at vineyards and stored wine casks because you like wine is as exciting as watching cows because you like leather.

• Why are the setup instructions for a new phone or calculator more complicated than those for setting up an Apple desk top computer?

• How is it that educated adults still call and simply ask, “Is Marie there?” instead of identifying themselves first? When I ask who’s calling, they seem to be offended.

• A National Basketball Association star player can run the length of the court with the ball without dribbling once and still not be called for walking.

• These days, the pilot on Jet Blue going bonkers and behaving wildly isn’t as surprising as the fact that the passengers are not doing that every flight. After the TSA holds you guilty until stripped and proven innocent, the airlines hold you prisoner anyway in a cramped cell with barely bread and water.

• If you’re a volunteer, it doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibility and accountability. If you don’t show up or you do a lousy job, the excuse “I’m just a volunteer” doesn’t cut it.

• I’ve decided not to contribute to any more non-profits where the entire board isn’t contributing. If you’re directing the organization, you ought to have skin in the game, and not just other people’s money.

• “The Book of Mormon” is kind of a one-joke, smug satire. But would the writers have been bold enough to create and stage “The Book of Muslim”? I think there’s a line between being satirical and being just plain nasty, and also playing it safe.

• Most of those guys in the gym grunting like female tennis pros are lifting less weight than I am. Please.

• I don’t think being called a “stewardess” is a sign of disrespect. I think your employer not paying you a wage commensurate with your training and value is a sign of disrespect.

• At this point on American Idol, it appears that Steven Tyler has to be regularly awakened from a fog; Jennifer Lopez is basically posing and promoting; and Randy Jackson was let go with Paula Abdul but doesn’t realize and keeps coming to work. Where is Simon Cowell when you need him?

• Note to people starting a business: Marketing is more important than your product and service. I know that’s heresy, but if no one knows you’re there, you won’t sell a thing.

• All of the schools playing in the NCAA tournaments have excellent ballplayers, male and female, at guard positions. The difference is that the top schools have more talented big people. There just may be an analogy there for business.

• When people tell me they have a “unique” approach and they’re going to “revolutionize” an industry, I look for a bar and a drink. There is a thin line between Paul Revere and Chicken Little.

© Alan Weiss 2012. All rights reserved.