Confessions

Confessions

• I actually sometimes enjoy working out because of the feelings of completion and satisfaction when it’s over.

• Sometimes I find myself approaching road rage because of a particularly oafish driver, but I content myself thinking what I could do if my car were equipped with missiles.

• Call if the “good old days,” but I don’t believe any late night talk show host since can even approach a quarter of Johnny Carson’s talent for the job.

• I think of people who order their steaks “well done” to have no taste at all, despite whatever else they’re successful doing.

• I attend church regularly, but I am disappointed and bored by 90% of the homilies because the priests deal with esoterica and not every day applications of the faith. (Nor are they taught speaking skills.)

• No matter what the underlying credentials, I believe that 90% of all social media offerings are scams and another 9% irrelevant to me.

• I’m baffled by people drinking coffee (or espresso martinis) before or during their meals. It’s like smoking a cigar, kills the taste sensation.

• I have fallen asleep twice during Zoom coaching calls. One time I was caught, because I also fell off my chair.

• Whenever someone says, “Let me give you some background…” I tune out, because I can guarantee you it’s for them, not me, and of no purpose for our conversation.

• Unless I ask about it, I do not want to hear about your latest trip, even if it were about wrestling walruses in the Arctic off Baffin Island.

• With the exception of the Continental Divide, I experienced nothing of interest, let alone excitement, in Iceland, and I found the service somewhere between indifferent and rude.

• I find tea to be boring, High Tea to be boring and ostentatious, and I tell the room service staffer asking for what type of tea when ordering for my wife, “Just choose the tea bag nearest to you at the moment.”

• Katz’s deli in New York has the greatest pastrami sandwich in the world, but the now-constant crowds keep me away.

• I enjoy the theater, but it’s being ruined by yahoos who hoot and scream (often at the most inappropriate times) rather than applaud (and even occurs at the ballet, opera, and symphony).

• Many of the best ideas I’ve used came from people to whom I said, “This will never work,” but when I tried them they often did spectacularly, and I happily went back and told them they were right and gave them credit.

• If you steal money from me, I figure you’re either desperate or a crook. But if you steal my intellectual property, then I think you’re just stupid—too dumb to think you won’t get caught, and too dumb to create your own ideas.