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DASM: Shell Game

DASM: Shell Game

Dumb-ass, stupid management: I would advise all of you, in a competitive market, not to use Shell gasoline or credit services.

I’ve been a Shell customer since 1986—it says so right on my credit card. My credit limit has never been changed by Shell. It’s about $600. Every month for over a quarter century, I’ve paid my bill in full.

Today, I have two vehicles that cost about $100 each to fill, and a third that costs about $80. In addition, my son has a card on my account to use in LA, where you can only get around by car. So in a month, it’s easy to sometimes exceed the $600. Here’s what Shell does: They suspend my account. They also send me warning letters when my card is used in LA, even though they’ve known for years my son lives there and charges gas there.

I wrote the CEO letters of complaint, asking that my credit limit be raised and that they acknowledge the California charges are not reason to call me and demand my approval. They simply  sent me advice to call customer service—which takes very long to reach and after you do, they don’t choose to help you. “Not my department. I’ll have to transfer you.” Really rude people.

Finally, two days ago, a genuine moron calls to tell me they’ve been trying to reach me. Since they don’t have my social security number on file (it wasn’t required all those years ago), they need it to apply for credit scores to evaluate whether my limit can be raised. They wouldn’t take it over the phone, the wanted validation from the social security administration! When I asked if there were an easier way, they said they’d accept a photo copy of a passport. When I asked if they would send a form or email verifying and confirming the request with the fax number, the guy says he will not, they don’t send things like that to customers, I’d have to take down the fax number on the phone and then send them a copy of my social security number and passport!

I told him to cancel my accounts. He said, “I’d be happy to do so.” That is verbatim.

In a world of increasing idiocy among frightened and cowardly credit card and bank operations, this is an especial standout for dumb-ass, stupid management. These guys actually drill wells, find gas, and process it without blowing themselves to smithereens? Hard to believe.

So, to the Chief Moronic Officer of Shell Gas: We don’t need you. You need us. Have someone read this to you.

© Alan Weiss 2013

Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

Comments: 8

  • John Martin

    March 28, 2013

    I’d be happy to do so ? ! ?

    What the (……..insert own………)

    DASM is putting it politely, if I do say so myself.

  • Alan Weiss

    March 28, 2013

    You can’t make this up. Just total stupidity, and the loss of a long-term customer spending $10,000 a year or so with them.

    • Helen

      March 29, 2013

      Alan – You may have spent ~ $10,000/ year with Shell but your comments will have a much greater impact based on your extensive network. Glad you decided to cut the cord!

  • James D

    March 28, 2013

    Achieving such a convoluted, unnecessary system takes a special kind of stupid.

  • March 29, 2013

    Classic stupidity. Shell could not keep pace with the competition here, and they sold assets to Vivo energy, http://www.theeastafrican.co.ke/business/Vivo-takes-over-from-Shell-in-Uganda/-/2560/1696034/-/1fh1k5/-/index.html.

    With that customer attitude, they may survive in the drills interacting with rocks. Their worst ‘innovation’ was unleaded oil. It is expensive and has no clear value addition to the customer. They invest a lot in promoting it, yet it is just basic gas – premium, just like the ordinary. Shell = DASM! Thanks Alan. You teach me to speak out my mind. It makes me healthy.

  • Alan Weiss

    March 29, 2013

    We’ll never get banks, hotels, gas companies, airlines to change their anti-consumer habits unless we let them know we’re not using their services and telling others not to. Banks want to charge you for holding your money, airlines for shipping your luggage, hotels for using the internet? One firm tried to charge me for time for “invoice creation”! The amazing thing is that Shell can hire so many rude people to enforce its soulless strategies.

  • March 29, 2013


    Like you, I have had the same experience. A few months ago Discover denied me at a CVS that was 500 yards from my home! (The amount was unusually high they told me.)

    This is why I use Amex for almost everything. They are professional. They pay first, ask you questions later. They are second to none abroad. They have the best website. Their people treat you like a VALUED customer. One time our private charter plane in the Bahamas stood us up. Amex went into overdrive and got 11 of us off an island to JFK that day…which was a SUNDAY.

    Did I hear you had a Black Card with them? I think after this, it should be the only card you use.

    Keep giving them hell Alan! I am big fan of your work.


  • Alan Weiss

    March 29, 2013

    I do have a Black Card, and I couldn’t agree more about Amex. The FedExed a new card to me in Bora Bora once. They see people as members, not customers, and actually try to retain them. All the other credit operations are scared amateurs, run by nitwits.

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