January 15, 2013

Guest Column: If You Could Only Ask One Question

If you could only ask one question, what would it be?

By Steve Rigell

Steve Rigell is a graduate of the Million Dollar Consulting® College and a member of the Private Roster Mentor Program.

Lately, I’ve been taking a closer look at the questions I’m asking, especially in conversations with clients. In fact, the question above is one of the questions I’ve been asking myself.

I’m sure you can recall someone in your life saying, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.”

Of course there are dumb questions. They sound unprofessional. They don’t apply to the situation. The answer is obvious. They don’t help move the conversation along. There are plenty of ways a question can be dumb. So, the question is, “What makes a great question?”

Great questions are provocative. Great questions can turn an inane conversation into a memorable conversation. Great questions are themselves memorable.

Great questions are like plot twists in a well-written novel or well-crafted movie because great conversations are like engrossing stories. You get into one, and the passage of time becomes irrelevant. You are absorbed and in the moment. Then, boom! Out of the blue, there’s a totally unexpected twist in the plot. This is what makes stories memorable because it is what makes the characters memorable.

Characters are developed through the ways they respond to the plot twists. This is how their real character is revealed, their values exposed, their inner conflicts and triumphs divulged, and their emotions provoked or soothed. The plot twists keep the story moving and allow the characters to be revealed.

But, back to questions. How can we make them better? How can we introduce plot twists into our conversations?

One of my favorite Mark Twain quotes goes something like this: “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” Great questions are the same. They are harder to do.

Here’s a series of questions I was thinking about the other day.

Do we need a national crisis to bring our country together?

What kind of crisis would do the job?

How big does it need to be?

Can it be done without people getting hurt?

What results would make the discomfort worth it?

Compelling as these questions are, I’m trying to take them a step further and figure out if there’s a way to ask one single question that pulls all these questions together and really makes me or someone else sit up and say, “Whoa, that is a really stunning and unexpected way of looking at the situation our country is in.” Instead of asking a series of questions, try to ask a question that condenses and crystalizes your thought process.

If a provocative question is like a plot twist, then is must be unexpected, but it must also be plausible and it must be delivered with impeccable timing–the kind of timing that makes everyone in the room sit up and become more alert.

In a lively conversation, like a movie or a novel, everyone is engrossed in the thread of the conversation. Things are moving along predictably. Everyone is onboard with the way things are going. If you’re a good listener, you’re letting someone else develop the narrative, their narrative. You may be helping to move it along with innocuous questions from time to time. But then, you ask the provocative question and in the blink of an eye, the conversation has changed. A provocative question is a wonderful way to work yourself into another person’s story and become part of their narrative because you are controlling the direction and the pace of the narrative with your questions. Once you are in their story, they can’t take your out.

Sometimes, you just have to ask the question to see what the impact is, but here are a few things you should look for.

It will surprise even the smartest, savviest, and most experienced of us because we are engrossed in the current thread of the conversation and are not expecting it. Provocative questions, like plot twists, are most effective when delivered with great timing.
Upon reflecting on the conversation, the provocative question seems almost inevitable and yet, no one saw it coming.
Part of the unexpected quality of the question is its simplicity and directness.
It is psychologically consistent with everything that has preceded it and does not seem cheap or sensational. In fact, it is very much grounded in the moment.
Like humor, it’s the unexpected quality that changes the flow of the conversation like a bump in the road or a near miss accident or a really wild curve. They should be pithy and quick; they have to happen in a flash.
Sometimes questions are asked and the answer is not apparent, or there are contradicting answers. These are great provocative questions because they create a tension that automatically seeks resolution.
One word of caution, though, and this is part of the writer’s craft, as well. Don’t try to make every question the most provocative question you could ask. If you ask provocative question after provocative question they lose their edginess. Part of the value of a provocative question is that it stands in stark contrast to the flow of conversation prior to it.

So here’s a challenge for all of us who are fans of plot twists and provocative questions. Sure, we want to be good as asking provocative questions at the right time in our conversations, but, why not get good at asking them to ourselves on a regular basis?

Who knows, we may be able to introduce some interesting plot twists into our own narratives.

Steve Rigell, is President of Preemptis, Inc., a Seattle consulting firm. Preemptis helps individuals and organizations unleash unprecedented value by aligning the four pillars of resilient strategies: purpose, innovation, leadership and talent. For more information, visit the Preemptis website at http://preemptis.com. Steve can be reached at (360) 930-6958.