Interpreting the Hidden Meaning of Phone Messages (Dumb Ass Stupid Management)
“Please listen to this entire message because our options have changed” is the voice message equivalent of, “DO NOT hit zero or try to reach the operator or anyone else directly, because we don’t like to talk to customers which is why we have this complex automated system.”
“This call is being recorded for quality purposes” is actually, “Don’t even think about profanity even after you’ve heard how little we care about resolving your issue.”
“Your call is important to us….” No it isn’t, or you’d be staffed properly to have someone pick up the phone.
“Leave a message and we’ll return your call as soon as possible.” Or not.