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Random Thoughts When I’m Not Occupied

Random Thoughts When I’m Not Occupied

When I have too much time on my hands:

  • Do all those Acme company contraptions that fail to work for Wile E. Coyote and his pursuit of the Road Runner have “patent pending” on them?
  • I never recognize people I’m supposed to know, and their mask is a perfect excuse, forcing them to introduce themselves.
  • Anyone who revs a motorcycle engine for no reason has very poor self-esteem.
  • When a server looks at my empty plate to consider removing it and asks, “Are we still enjoying your meal?” I have a strong urge to smash the plate into his or her face.
  • I pride myself on my parallel parking (I grew up in New Jersey) yet two my cars can park themselves, a feature that is meaningless for me. What’s next, pre-chewed food?
  • Tony Hsieh was a brilliant guy and an impressive entrepreneur, but when the authorities don’t release details on a celebrity’s death it just makes everything look more and more suspicious. Just watch what surfaces. Who owned that house?
  • If the authorities think they can stifle Christmas and New Year’s gatherings, I want what they’re smoking.
  • What is the reasoning for having separate award categories—for example for the Oscars—for men and women? How does that fit this age and the zeitgeist of the times?
  • Why do my ducks survive just fine paddling around on our pond during a hurricane or thunderstorm, yet people lose power, have trees fall on their cars, and windows blown out? Should we all get into the water?
  • Tyra Banks on Dancing with the Stars represented the worst change to a successful TV show I can remember, and I’ve seldom seen such a miscast disaster.
  • Did you see where the police chief in Methuen, MA received $326,000 last year, more than most major city chiefs, and promptly promoted and rewarded the offspring of the city council in the department? We get the kind of government we deserve, and if everyone is looking for an illicit piece of the action you have to ask who elected these people?
Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

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