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Shell for Brains: DASM Hall of Fame

Shell for Brains: DASM Hall of Fame

I’m installing Shell Oil into the Dumb-Ass Stupid Management Hall of Fame.

I’ve been a Shell customer for over 25 years. Every single month, I pay the bill in its entirety. Every month. I think many of you can imagine what my credit rating is, and I may be earning more than the CEO of Shell (with a stress on “earn”).

With 25-gallon tanks, all three of our vehicles cost about $100 to fill when the tanks are near empty with today’s gas prices. My son has rented a large truck in Florida to drive cross-country to his new place in LA, and I provided him with a Shell card to make life easier, all on my account. Shell bills me about every 30 days.

Guess what? After I paid my last bill, we charged more than $1,000 collectively before I’ve yet to receive my next bill, AND DUMB-ASS SHELL SUSPENDED THE CARDS WITHOUT WARNING. I received an automated message from Shell after the fact, and when I called back a rocket scientist of a woman told me that she couldn’t tell me when the cards would be reinstated because I was “over my limit.” She repeated this like a broken record but without the same degree of variety.

How stupid does it get? Do you simply extend the credit limits when you have such a good customer, or when gas prices (Shell’s prices) have reached current stratospheric levels? Do you try to help your customers? Or do you just pull the plug because you’re afraid your customers are cheating you somehow?

I think a guy named Peter Voser is CEO of Shell. Maybe he and his crack team ought to get their heads out of the drilling holes and smell something besides fumes. Just when you think you can’t make this stuff up, you fall behind he satirical curve.

“Hey, let’s take one of our best customers, who’s spent probably six figures with us over the years, and just suspend his credit because he’s spending too much with us. Doesn’t that seem a good way to spend our time?”

Stay away from these people. It’s a shell game. They have shell-for-brains.

© Alan Weiss 2011. All rights reserved.

Written by

Alan Weiss is a consultant, speaker, and author of over 60 books. His consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., has attracted clients from over 500 leading organizations around the world.

Comments: 1

  • Tim Wilson

    August 9, 2011


    My guess is Shell probably has a litany of material that references it great customer service or how they value their customers. This indeed gives new meaning to the line from Forrest Gump, “stupid is as stupid does.”

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