A Case for A SWAT Team?
On the outskirts of Providence, right next to Interstate 95, is a giant blue bug on the roof of an exterminating company. It's a termite, 427,000 times larger than life. (I am not making this up.) The company which was
The Pain of the Dentist
I visit every four months. I haven't had a cavity in ten years, my gums are in good shape, and thanks to the wonders of cosmetic dentistry, I have very straight, white teeth, which my parents couldn't afford to provide
Brother, Can You Spare A Fix?
A man in old but neat clothing walks up to us in New York as we exit Katz's Deli. "Can you spare a few dollars?" he asks. A woman with me says, "I can't give you any money, but I can offer
If You’re Proclaiming Good Health, Why Are You Driving Like A Moron?
I don't know why, but I've started thinking about bumper stickers. It's rare to find a car with just one. They usually come in multiple postings, ranging from politics to health food, from sports teams to mystical affirmations. It seems
Why the Loch Ness Monster Causes Global Warming, You Dumb $#@@&
The main utility of Facebook is that—when you read how little people know about history, or how needy they are to be liked, or how profanity replaces adjectives and nouns because of a lack of class, or you hear of
You Can’t Fix Stupid
A woman writes to tell me she loves my free weekly and monthly newsletters, but she doesn't like my occasional promotional mailings, so she has to unsubscribe. In other words, she feels it's appropriate for me to provide free, high
Ouch!
Kim Wilkerson brings to my attention some guy in South Africa who is sponsoring an evening of fire walking and cocktails! I can't imagine any potential problems there, can you? I recall not long ago so many injuries at a fire
Oversold
Talking to the Priest before the procession last night when I was the reader for Holy Thursday services, he told me that, on Easter, he would announce: "We're unexpectedly having some more clergy join us, and we're oversold, so the ushers will
On the Road Again
In Italy, almost every main road is only two lanes in each direction. And drivers stay right, except to pass. Rarely do you have to use your high beams. Everyone realizes that unless you get out of the way of
Plain Dumb Ass Stupid
A guy named Littlejohn asks to connect on Linkedin and immediately sends me this pathetic, mass, stupid marketing email: Thanks for being connected! I've had many consultants reaching out to see how we generate so many high-end leads for ourselves and our