In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking
• Why do politicians focus on attacking each other instead of generating ideas? Probably because they have no new ideas, but just want to serve in office for the power or ego, and find it as mindless to attack an opponent as it is for a dog to chase a squirrel. The difference, of course, is that my dog is smart enough and fleet enough to catch squirrels, because he comes up with new ideas to do so.
• When a loose crocodile on an airplane brings it down, suddenly “Snakes On Planes” loses its excitement. If the producers had suggested a croc, no one would have bought it. (Don’t crocs have to die before becoming carry-on?)
• The Chilean miners have disappeared from the media, as they should. I can only wish them a normal life, which will be better than the crash and burn of brief celebrity.
• I can usually tell when a restaurant I frequent has changed chiefs. It also seems to me that Jay Leno must have changed writers, because his monologues are simply not very funny any more. What’s wrong in the kitchen?
• If you ever wonder about the quality of middle America, think about the focus and outrage over this poor kid from Rutgers (my alma mater) who took his life by leaping off the George Washington Bridge. We do know right from wrong, and we are moved by the tragedy of a single person in a country of 360 million.
• Donald Trump hinting that he’ll run for President is like Simon Cowell hinting he’d like to be named Chief of Protocol. Après moi le déluge.
• Baseball in November is like ice cubes in wine. People do it, but that doesn’t mean it was meant to be, nor do you ask them for their recommendations.
• After watching all those people who keep their electronic devices surreptitiously on during takeoff and landing, I’m moved to believe they have zero impact on the plane’s operation, or that I’m constantly traveling with people cheating death.
• The Rejection Collection by Matthew Diffee is a collection of New Yorker cartoons that were rejected. The author calls it “crème de la crap.” It is hysterical. (My friend Bill Corbett sent me this as a gift.)
• In an era of space-age technology, why can’t someone make a screen protector for the iPad that goes on easily, without sprays, instructional videos, and air bubbles? Are you telling me they can create an iPad but not something to cover the screen? Please.
• Talk about high-stakes poker. The governor of New Jersey is waging his future on confronting the teacher’s union. Brings new meaning to “all in….”
• I keep watching “The Event” waiting for an event.
© Alan Weiss 2010. All rights reserved.