In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking
• Jon Stuart can find parody in Marco Rubio having to drink water, but not Bobby Menendez allegedly hiring prostitutes in the Dominican Republic? How’s that for an agenda, Jon?
• American Idol has far more superb female than male contestants this year, but the voting constituency for the show is mostly teenage girls.
• The State of the Union speech was no doubt once a major event, but now it’s a predictable, choreographed, vaudeville act.
• I’ll be you can think of a dozen people immediately who should follow the Pope’s example of departing voluntarily when they’re no longer on top of their game. Sandy Koufax did it. Frank Sinatra didn’t.
• The more we give phony self-esteem awards to kids no matter where they finish or how they perform, the more difficulty they’ll have adjusting to the real world which is competitive by nature and ignores you if you don’t show up.
• If you believe that money can buy results, I’d suggest you look at the Boston Red Sox payroll.
• I know it’s perverse, but I get a hoot when the temperature in February is 45 degrees in Miami. Yo! Snowbirds!
• Can someone direct me to the “paperless office” and “checkless society”?
• Did you see where the Canadians produced new currency that’s plastic-based and tends to melt and stick together? The best and the brightest don’t go into government work anywhere. (Money in the Philippines with pictures of the country had the boundaries incorrect.)
• Whoever is in charge of global warming, please stop by in New England.
• The most profound acts of charity are not publicized or announced. They are quietly performed. There are no audiences, no awards, no “reveals.”
• That meteor in Siberia struck with zero warning, injured hundreds, and had an explosive force of a hundred atom bombs. It was miniscule compared to the one that took out the dinosaurs (the size of a bus vs. six miles across). Are you still worried about whether you should take a risk tomorrow?
• Do people stay up at night investigating cosmically stupid things to post on Facebook? They make the tee shirts on sale at the Jersey shore (“I’m with stupid”) seem like Dickens by comparison.
• USAir and American! If they can buy Carnival Cruise Lines and the Toonerville Trolley, they should have it all locked up!
• The Dark Ages originated in the gap between the Super Bowl and the NCAA playoffs.
© Alan Weiss 2013
