Your Legacy is Now
Life is not a search for meaning from others, it’s about the creation of meaning for yourself.
For over 30 years Alan Weiss has consulted, coached, and advised everyone from Fortune 500 executives, state governors, non-profit directors, and entrepreneurs to athletes, entertainers, and beauty pageant contestants. That’s quite an assortment of people, and they run into the thousands. Most of them have had what we euphemistically call “means,” and some of them have had a lot more than that. Others have been aspiring and with more ends in sight than means on hand.
Alan Weiss states:
I’ve dealt with esteem (low), narcissism (high), family problems, leadership dysfunctions, insecurities, addictions, and ethical quandaries. And I’ve talked about them through the coronavirus crisis. But don’t get the wrong idea. About 95% of these people have been well-meaning, honest (to the best of their knowledge), and interested in becoming a better person and better professional. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be talking to me.
I found the equivalent of the “runner’s wall” in their journeys, where they must break through the pain and the obstacles and then can keep going with renewed energy and spirit. But runners know how far they must go after the breakthrough, be it another half lap or another five miles. There is a finish line.
I’ve found that people in all positions, even after the “breakthrough,” don’t know where they are in the race, let alone where the finish line is.
They do not know what meaning is for them. They may have money in the bank, good relationships, the admiration of others, and the love of their dogs. But they have no metrics for “What now?” They believe that at the end of life there is a tallying, some metaphysical accountant who totals up their contributions, deducts their bad acts, and creates the (hopefully positive) difference.
That difference, they believe, is their “legacy.”
But the thought that legacy arrives at the end of life is as ridiculous as someone who decides to sell a business and tries to increase its valuation the day prior. Legacy is now. Legacy is daily. Every day we create the next page in our lives, but the question becomes who is writing it and what’s being written. Is someone else creating our legacy? Or are we, ourselves, simply writing the same page repeatedly?
Or do we leave it blank?
Our organic, living legacy is marred and squeezed by huge normative pressures. There is a “threshold” point, at which one’s beliefs and values are overridden by immense peer pressure. Our metrics are forced to change.
In an age of social media, biased press, and bullying, we’ve come to a point where our legacy, ironically, is almost out of our hands.
Yet our “meaning”—our creation of meaning and not a search for some illusive alchemy—creates worth and impact for us and all those with whom we interact.
Alex Saloutos
Should he ever be interested and you’d accept him as a client, I’d love to see your proposal to be his coach and mentor.
Alan Weiss
Pro bono. I just want to meet the French president’s wife.
J. Scott
Pro bono, indeed. I don’t sense he “knows” he needs help; which is part of the problem. Hubris has been and will continue to be an Achilles heel. Who knows, Alan, maybe he will read your advice and pay heed—let us hope so.
Alan Weiss
Marshall Goldsmith said to us, as my guest at the Thought Leadership Workshop I ran in Palm Beach last month, “I never try to help anyone who doesn’t want to be helped.”
Davey Moyers
Here Mr. Weiss, you have hit the “nail on the head”. This post actually got me thinking about my own weaknesses and potential resolution. That we are unable to objectively view how we are seen by others and wise council should be sought. Perhaps the same could be said for the sitting President. Pro bono or value-based, a wise choice would be take immediate action on a personal level.
Alan Weiss
Davey,
When I run strategy sessions for companies, I ask them to rate how the customer sees them in various categories, and then ask for the evidence leading them to such a conclusion. They often have to admit they’re just guessing, or have old information, or really don’t know.
Amy Showalter
Like your posts related to politics, Alan!
The challenge with 90% of elected officials is that the number of sycophants is exponentially higher than similar people of power in the private sector. There is no objective advice, a problem in the C-suite and in Governor’s offices, Congress, etc.
Plus, at the beginning of many lawmaker’s careers, many (most) of them hire people based on loyalty rather than brain power. A dangerous combination! There are definitely smart, hard-working aides to elected officials out there, but they are there to deliver good news only. Hence the “surprise” at any backlash.
Alan Weiss
Good point, Amy, which is underscored in Doris Kearn Goodwin’s “Team of Rivals.”