Moby Coffee Shop: Dumb Ass Stupid Management
I usually go for coffee in the mornings to either Dunkin’ Donuts or a privately owned coffee shop on Main Street here in East Greenwich. On a whim, I decided to stop in Starbucks this morning. I found one other customer in the store, a guy behind the counter with an old, red tee-shirt, and a young woman who came over to help me. She appeared to be in her early 20s.
“Can I help you?”
“I’d like a medium, iced cappuccino (I don’t understand the bizarre vente sizes they use) with regular milk and sweetener.”
“Okay, we advice low fat milk because it foams better.”
“I don’t care about the foam, I care about the coffee, and I want regular milk.”
“Well, we really prefer to use low fat.”
“Regular milk.”
“Then there will be no foam.”
“I don’t care.”
“And you wanted how much sugar?”
“I don’t want sugar, I want artificial sweetener.”
“What kind, we don’t have Sweet ‘n’ Low.”
“Whatever you do have. You know, I can’t imagine having this conversation anywhere but in a Starbucks!”
She didn’t smile, told me, “That will be $5.24,” and she went to make the cappuccino.
As I wandered around I realized she had finished the coffee and simply left it on the counter for me and walked away. She was irritated by a customer’s choices not in conformance with hers.
I don’t like regular Starbucks coffee—I find it bitter, and I think most people who drink it do so out of some misplaced elitism. I actually saw a couple bring theirs into a diner where they ordered breakfast at one point! But this faux superiority about world-shaking issues such as foam is just hysterical.
The cappuccino was much smaller than those of the other two stores, but it was quite good. But who the hell needs to go back there and have an argument with someone over how I prefer my coffee?! Maybe the guy in the old tee-shirt would have been more understanding.
(By the way, Starbuck’s is named after the first mate on the Pequod, which was destroyed by Moby Dick, and he, like all the rest of the crew with one exception, perished. “The call me Ishmael…..”
