You Can’t Recork Champagne
Did you see the Atlanta Falcons owner and his wife come down to the sidelines extremely early to celebrate victory when they led the Patriots by 28-9 in the Super Bowl? Their smiles turned upside down and their very obvious
Wait, Which One of You is Mary?
I've been in Florida for a week watching ABC, NBC, and CBS in the Miami area in the mornings. I'm sure this goes on elsewhere, but it's especially obvious here: All the news show women look alike. There is are usually
What Next? No Checked Baggage
Someone is now going to suggest security measures and barred public entry to baggage claim areas, and try to create another billion dollar boondoggle because of this tragedy in Ft. Lauderdale, or perhaps ban checked luggage, which only exacerbates the
Friendships
There are four conditions of friendship and relationship: People who are very positive with whom you want to create relationships. People who are positive whom you already know whom you want to retain. People who are negative but whom you fee obligated
Who Asked You?
There are trolls and arrogant souls out there who sit back and just send people "feedback," claiming that responsible people always listen to feedback. Smart people listen to feedback from those they respect and ask, not from strangers, about their
IDIOTIC IT
Remember the old nerdy GIGO: garbage in, garbage out, as if the users were always at fault, not the programmers? How about IDIOTIC: intelligent directions input, operationally turned into crap? I'm tired of sites that demand you repeat the same information six
In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking
Every morning I go to my website and click on the menu button that says “Discover Alan.” But my introspection never improves. Everyone tries to spell my name “Allan.” We were poor. My parents couldn’t afford two "l"s. The
The Platitudinous
Which of the following are actual quotes from famous authors, statesmen, or philosophers? (Answer far at the bottom.) To love one's country demands the love of diversity. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken
In Case You Were Wondering What I Was Thinking
Baseball fans: If my dog brings me his leash at the door, would that be called an "intentional walk"? Am I crazy, or does this election seem like it belongs in Honduras, or San Marino, or Atlantis? If I
When in Rome….
• I'm waiting for the elevator in The Hassler Hotel on the fourth floor, going up to the lounge on the seventh. It arrives with an all-too-typical American man: pot belly, tee-shirt, raggedy shorts, flip flops. With him is his