Stop Beating Yourself Up
I interact with some people who continually beat themselves up. (When I served on a suicide hotline I would encounter people who deliberately cut themselves, or took pills, or held a gun.) They beat themselves up about what they should
Friendships
There are four conditions of friendship and relationship: People who are very positive with whom you want to create relationships. People who are positive whom you already know whom you want to retain. People who are negative but whom you fee obligated
Talk to Me
When you're delayed in an airport with no communication from the airline, you become increasingly angry. However, when the airline informs you frequently of the cause of the delay and expected departure, you can do other things, make other plans,
Shut Up
Over 95% of the time, the more you talk, the more you're trying to justify and validate your own thoughts and utterances. You're not talking to further educate the other party or to answer a question, you're either trying to
Accelerating Your Coaching Process
In the process visual* below, I've depicted my approach toward mentoring and coaching which I've recommended to my Master Mentors. First: Define and clarify the issue. ("I'm overwhelmed." What, exactly, dow that mean?) Second: If it's not really an issue, just a
The Esteem Machine
Some machines have pressure gauges to inform us as to whether the pressure is too low to sustain effective operation, or so high that the machine may malfunction. The color green is usually effective, white too low, red too high. I've
The Benefit of the Doubt
TBOTD is priceless. If people trust you, they forgive errors. I forgave some mediocre service on Emirates because they treat me so well all the rest of the time. But I'd have a hard time forgiving United these days. We can
Sacrifice
I'm watching two once-in-a-lifetime events last night, Simone Biles win by two points, which is more than all the combined margins of victory since 1980 in the gymnastics all-around; and Michael Phelps, at 31, become the greatest swimming champion of
I Can Name That Tune….
Recall how a piece of music can get in your brain and keep repeating (ear worm)? You begin to hum and even sing it, sometimes unconsciously. Before you visit a prospect, start humming "I can help these people, I can help
Prisoner of Platitude
Alan's Fourth Law of Platitudes: For every supporting quotation there is an equal and opposite dissenting quotation. This applies to philosophy, theology, management, politics, sports—you name it. "Haste makes waste," except, "a stitch in time saves nine." "No man is an island,"